当前位置: 首页 > 英语学习 > 英语资源 > 人搞笑英文剧本

人搞笑英文剧本

2016-01-09 09:39:12 成考报名 来源:http://www.chinazhaokao.com 浏览:

导读: 人搞笑英文剧本篇一:搞笑英文多人剧本 ...

本文是中国招生考试网(www.chinazhaokao.com)成考报名频道为大家整理的《人搞笑英文剧本》,供大家学习参考。

人搞笑英文剧本篇一:搞笑英文多人剧本

Posts Tagged 搞笑剧本

《正义必胜》英语话剧剧本

5人短剧。搞笑的匪徒,搞笑的绑架案,不错的剧本。

人物

Bunny Cheng: Bunny Chen

Eliza Lin: Daughter

Celine Tu: Reporter et Aside

Sano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓)

Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓)

——————————————————————————–

SCENE I

A mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing. And her daughter is in the school now.

Mom: Hello~

Caller: (A boy is crying.) Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom.

Mom: Are you crazy? I don’t have a son!!! Don’t try to cheat me. Stupid guy! The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ringing again… Mom: Hello~

Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now?

Mom: (I recognize the voice.) You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is it fun? Don’t do such a boring thing, O.K.? I won’t believe you.

Caller: Really? Listen to this.(A girl is crying on the phone, ‖mom, help me~ help me~) Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop. Do you understand? (Hang up the phone more angrier.)

But the voice sounds like her daughter’s and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there…

Mom: Eliza~

Eliza: Mom~ why you are here? Are you missing me? Do you come here to pick me up?

Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school? Let’s go home. I want to tell you something on the way home.

Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to be careful from now on.

SCENE II

Because the mother didn’t believe the two gangsters really kidnapped her kid, the gangsters were furious. So they decided to kidnap her daughter this time.

The gangsters have found the school her daughter studies in, and observed for many days. Today is the day they plan to kidnap the child.

The big gangster always focuses on what he’s doing but the small gangster is usually absent-minded.

Big gangster: Hey! Concentrate!! (The big gangster hit the small gangster’s head) Small gangster: Ouch! O.K. O.K.

At this moment, the girl appears.

Small gangster: (Check the picture.) Hey!! Buddy!! Look! Is that her?

Big gangster: Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s hunting time.

Small gangster: I’m so excited!! Oh~ what a beautiful girl. Just like a fairy. My sweetheart… Buddy do you know? I feel that I get butterflies in my stomach!

Big gangster: (Hitting the small gangster’s head again.) Hey! Wake up!! Stop day-dreaming. Let’s make a move!

Small gangster: Oh~ my baby~ I’m coming!!

Big gangster: Hey!! Lady!! Can you do me a favor?

Eliza: Sure! What can I do for you?

Small gangster: (Murmuring) This beautiful lady has a beautiful heart.

Big gangster: Sorry. Ignore what he said.

Eliza: Never mind!

Big gangster: Thanks! I want to go to Tunghai University. Do you know how can I get there? Eliza: Oh… you should go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.

Big gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, turn right and we will see a supermarket at the end of the street. And…

Eliza: No! No! No! Go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.

Small gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, then turn left and go straight to the end of the street, then we can see the university.

Eliza: Oh, my! No! Wrong again! You two are really a stupid guy.

Big gangster: It’s too complex. I can’t remember all the directions. I’m a foreigner. And I have an important presentation there. Could you go with us, guide us there? Please~

Eliza was confused. But she is a kind person and she likes to help people.

Eliza: Umm… let me think… okay!! Let’s go!

Small gangster: How kind of you!! My little girl.

Big gangster: Sorry. Just ignore him. Thank for your help.

Eliza goes with the gangsters.

In the gangsters’ car, the small gangster suddenly shows a sharp knife. And shouts, ―Don’t move!‖ Eliza is shocked and starts screaming.

Eliza: What are you doing?

Small gangster: I’m kidnapping you!

Eliza: Oh~ I am so scared.

Small gangster: (Talk to the big gangster.) Did you hear that, she is scared?

Big gangster: Ya~ we are professional.

Eliza: Not funny! I’m hungry. I want to go home! I want to go home! Small gangster: Shut up. Don’t be so noisy!

Eliza keeps crying.

Small gangster: You! Get out of the car!

Big gangster: (Hit the small gangster angrily!) Idiot! I have a stupid partner. (Disappointed) Eliza: I agree! (Nod head.)

Big gangster: Don’t cry baby, I give you a lollipop.

Eliza: Thank you. How kind of you.

SCENE III

Mother is preparing dinner.

Mom: Eliza! Eliza! Time for dinner! I’m hungry! Hurry up!

No one answers her. And she realizes there is something wrong.

Mom: Eliza, where are you? Don’t play hide and seek w

ith me! It’s not funny. I’m hungry.

As the mother is finding her daughter, the phone rings.

Mom: Hello~ this is Anderson. I’m busy finding my daughter. Don’t bother me!

Big gangster: Are you finding your daughter? Ha! Ha! Ha… she is right here.

Mom: Good job! Tell her it’s time for dinner. I’m hungry!

Big gangster: Hey! You are clueless. I have already kidnapped your daughter, Eliza Anderson!

Mom: Hey! Buddy! Don’t trick me!

Big gangster: Sure! Listen! (The gangster takes the phone to Eliza.)

Eliza: Hello! Mom! I’m here! They are so kind. They gave me a lollipop. The gangster takes the phone away.

Big gangster: Do you believe me now? If you want your daughter to come back for dinner. You have to prepare the ransom of NT $ 20,000,000.

Mom: Too expensive! 20% off.

Big gangster: Are you buying clothes?

Mom: Bargain is my hobby.

Big gangster: No negotiation you should bring the ransom to Tunghai Lake at 8:00 pm. And remember don’t call the cop. Or you will find your daughter in the lake.

Mom: O.K. See you then!

At Tunghai Lake. The gangsters and Eliza are baking fish from the lake because they are hungry. At this time, the mother is coming.

Mom: Ha! (Mom shouts.)

The gangsters and Eliza are shocked. And the small gangster’s fish is falling down on the floor. Small gangster: Oh,! My fish! Who’s there?

Mom: It’s me, Bunny Anderson, Eliza’s mother, Anderson’s wife. Where is my daughter? Release my daughter.

Eliza: Hi! Mom, I’m here. Do you want to come here to eat fish?

Big gangster: Where is the ransom?

Mom: Release my daughter first!

Big gangster: Give me the ransom first!

Mom: No way!

And the battle begins.

Mom: Justice is always the winner.

Eliza: Oh~ Yeah! Mom, you win!

Celine: Ha! I got it! I got it! A new…… headline.

Celine: I am at Tunghai Lake. Earlier, there was a violent fighting. A watermelon knife V.S. A B.B.Q. fork. According to the witnesses, a mother fought with the gangsters for her daughter. And the mother won. Now, let’s interview the persons involved. Celine: Do you feel regretful? Do you feel sorry to this society?

Small gangster: I……

Celine: I…… I know. You are very sorry and regretful. How about you? (Turn to the big gangster.)

Big gangster: None of your business. (Run to the wall.) Leave me alone.

Eliza: Me! Me!

Celine: What do you want to say?

Eliza: Uh…My mom is so cool. She came to save me!

Mom: My turn. My turn.

Celine: O.K. O.K. What do you want to say after winning the fight?

Mom: Well……

Celine: Well, you are very happy and proud of yourself to be the winner in the battle. Mom: Yes. And the gangsters…

Celine: Oh, the gangsters are very stupid and silly.

Mom: Right. And they…

Celine: They want to trick you, but…

Mom: But… enough. I’m hungry. I want to go home with my daughter.

Celine: Next time, if you receive a phone call from a scam artist, here are the things you can do to avoid being tricked. First, stay clam and be skeptical about it. The caller hopes to fool you with a moving story, causing you to forget your good judgment. A little doubt can protect you. Second, verify the story. Call the organization to make sure the story is true. Third, report it to the police. And don’t deal with the villains on your own. One phone call will often expose a trap quickly. However, to tell the truth, the mother is really very brave. She is my idol. I want to keep her sign. This is reporter Celine reporting from Tunghia Lake for TVAS.

《出租车司机》英语话剧剧本

一天出租车司机Tommy遇到了很多奇怪的事情。烦人的女孩、孕妇、抢匪、不管事的警察,甚至还遇到了鬼。。。

Cast

Erin Chang: Robber

Debby Tsai: Police officer

Serrin Lee: Betel nut girl

Alec Zhao: Ghost student

Leo Lee: Taxi driver

Yi-ling Chen: Pregnant woman

—————————————————————————

Summary

This story talks about a poor taxi driver, Tommy, who meets many strange things in one day. First, he carries a Betel Nut Girl who wants to harass him. Second, a pregnant woman makes him feel nervous. Third, he carries a robber and meets a police officer who only manages traffic. At last, he carries a ghost student.

Tommy: Hello, my name is Tommy. Serving you is my honor. Where would you like to go?

Betel nut girl: Hi! Tommy. I’m going to Chong-Shan North Road, please.

Tommy: Ok, Chong-Shan North Road, no problem. Um? I remember there’s only a Chong-Shan East Road. Miss, are you sure you’re going to Chong-Shan North Road?

Betel nut girl: Um, I’m not sure. You just drive. Maybe I will remember where it is later.

Betel nut girl: How old are you? Are you married? You’re probably not married since you’re so young. Do you have a girlfriend?

Tommy: Um…miss, we are almost at Chong-Shan East Road. Do you want to have a look?

Betel nut girl: Oh! Not here. By the way, don’t you feel tired after driving all day long? Maybe I can help you relax.

Tommy: What…what do you want to do? Take your hands off me or I’ll scream! Betel nut girl: I did nothing! You just missed a nice chance. Stop the car, I want to get off. Tommy: (Relived) Great! The total is 155 dollars, Thank you.

Betel nut girl: Um! Take it!

Pregnant woman: Hey! Taxi!

Pregnant woman: Thanks. You are real a very kind man.

Tommy: Where are you going?

Pregnant woman: Hospital, please.

Tommy: You’re going to the prenatal checkup, right? It must be very tiring carrying a baby.

Pregnant woman: Yeah. It’s almost nine months.

Tommy: Woo. Congratulations.

Pregnant woman: Thank you.

Pregnant woman: (screaming)

Tommy: Are you ok?

Pregnant woman: (screaming)

Tommy: Is it time now? Are you going to deliver your baby now? I will drive as fast as I can. Stay down.

Pregnant woman: (screaming)

Tommy: We’re almost there.

人搞笑英文剧本篇二:搞笑5人英语剧本

搞笑5人英语剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》

演员表:

西门吹雪

叶孤城

花满楼

king

旁白

道具:牛奶两袋,匕首一把,戒子一枚,纸屑若干。

第一幕:决战紫荆城之颠

旁白:A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow .

Birdsaredancinginthecold .

Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep .

Windiscominginsilence.

Another mysteriousmanapproaches .

Y与X相遇.

X:oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou !

Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay.

X:Excuseme, whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname?

Y:ha ha ,Iwon’tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. I’mthemostfamous-------YeGucheng. Whoareyou?

X:Iamximenchuixue.

Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?

X:Yes,whatiswrong?

Y:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArts?

X:Great, youknowme !

Y抱腿:Please, please„„ Don’tkillme! letmeyougo!

X:No, Imustkillyou !

Y:Idon''''''''''''''''twanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!

X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow?

Y突然站起冷冷的说:Don''''''''''''''''t forceme!

X:Pardon!

(Y拿出一袋牛奶)

X抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?

Y:pleasedrinkit!

X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha

Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme?

X:Sure, must! milkismilk.

Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?

X:I’msureIwon’t!

Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0! X捂着肚子,蹲下:Oach,Oach !

Y大笑:HaHa„„

X可怜状: help! help! Whereisthewashroom?

Y:What ?

X:Toliet?

Y:What ?

X:The “WC”?

Y:Oh,I see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!

X:Thanks,byebye.

Y掏出纸屑吹:Thisisgenuirnesnow!

H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!

Y:Whoareyou?

H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue?

Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC” now,ha„„

H惊讶:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!

Y:Youareright!

H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?

Y:Yes,It’sverygood.

H:Ok, followme, Let’sgotoseemyking!

Y:Ok,Let’s go!

第二幕:无间道

H:Mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! (指Y) thisisyegucheng.

K:sitdownplese, yegucheng.

H走到Y前,《婚礼进行曲》起,H神甫状:Yegucheng! Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids?

Y: Yes,Ido.

K: Huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!(音乐停)

X唱着上:Onlyyou„„(看到戒子) thisringshouldbemine!

K:Butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?

Y急切: king! dearking!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi(维语再见)

K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean? ItisnotEnglish, isn’t it ?

Y:How clever„„

X冷酷:yegucheng! comehere!Iwanttotellyousomething!

Y抱X的腿:oldbrother ! Forgiveme!

X:Forgiveme? Why?

Y: Oncetherewasachangebeforeme,Ilostit. Ifthegodgivemeantherchance, I’lltellyou“I love you”,Iftheremustbea limited period,Ihopeitisthousandyear!

X:Youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s“WC”!

Y:Ilikegoinglady’s WC .I„„I„„IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶) X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)

K: ayixidailu?What’sthemeaning? whyIalsocan’tunderstandyou?

X:Youarestupid! Itmeans“I love you”.

K:Don’t saythat“you love me”. I’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!

X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You---kill----me?come, come„(X上去抓住K)

K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!

X:Howcanyoukillme? haha„„

Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子,蹲下)

K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I’llgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyou haveavacation.

Y:That’s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher. K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! Hahaha„„

Y:Hahaha-----

H:Where’ssomewhere?

K:What?

Y:Doyouwanttogolady’s“WC”?

X:Yes,I„„I„„ do.

H顶着摇头:X,no, no, youcan’tgotoLady’s “WC”. Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu!

X: whatifI’mthebestintheword? !whyItrymybesttolivebutI’mstillsomiserable ? whencanIgetmyfreedom? mustbethedeadday ? !

K: youareright. onewillnotbecleveruntilthedayhedie. Inthatcase ,whywill you die in such a bad sorrow way !gointo theLady’s WC , thendie , comfortablly ! goahead !

H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway !

K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ?

H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng------the wifeofX .I’maspy.

K惊讶: !you---you---YouareLuXiaofeng ? X’wife ?

Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (轻声说)Xwilldie ,goandseehim ,please .

H扑倒在X的身边:X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope inthe fature and tomorrow is a goodbeginning !

K:what amoving story !I was impressed !

Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !

H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneedn’t resume !

(H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏,K吓跑.音乐《再见,警察》起)

Y痛苦状:don’tleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat I’m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you------help me . I’ll never dothat again !(Y死,音乐停)

(X咳,H扑到身边,电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起)

H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .

X:gohome ! ?

H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove !

X:doyouwant melivealifeinsuchasorrow way ? ok , ok , Ipromise I willbealive for you .but !youknow, Ihavenot timeleft ,but you have ,promisethatyou will be happy everyday !Youmustdome this honor... promise meyou will survive... that youwillnevergiveup... nomatter what happens... no matter howhopeless... promise me now ,andnever let go of that promise.

H: I promise .

X:Never let go .

H:Ipromise . Iwill never let go ,

X.I''''''''ll never letgo.(X死)

H:be alive !yeah , bealive ! bealivewithout ahendance !lifecanbechanceliketimecangotoback . thereisbeatifulsnowbutinsping , solifecancomefromthebeginning ! (H自刎,艰难的爬到X身边死.音乐停。)

人搞笑英文剧本篇三:最终用稿(7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本-三顾茅庐)

Three visits to the cottage三顾茅庐

Aside: After their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors(美['dʒænɪtɚ] n. 看门人;守卫) in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.

SCENE 1: Liubei's home

Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei

Guanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic

life end? It's so terrible!

Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb

says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper(看门人), anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?

Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his

husband’s CET-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.

Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouse

Liubei: Alas! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me

and go to the mountain for dunning! (收拾家伙 挽袖子)

Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang. SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang’s house

Actors: ZhuGeliang Zhu’s Wife

ZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so sad recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What’s CET-6? Do you know? I’ve never heart about that. And she asked me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. (拿起手

里的试卷给大家亮亮) It’s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?

Wife: Darling!

ZhuGeliang:My wife is coming,she is so long-winded(啰

嗦的) that I can never bear her. (装作认真状)

Wife: My dear, how about your study? ZhuGeliang:These books make me want to doze[dəʊz](打瞌睡). I’m dizzy.

Wife: Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can’t pass cet-6 to get

your master’s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here

for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Shanghai.(cry) ZhuGeliang:Don’t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don’t need to learn. (扔书)

Wife: Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen,read and see! ZhuGeliang:A piece of cake!

Wife: Listen, can you spell apple? Desk? ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can’t. (不会 抓耳挠腮)

Wife: You can’t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really

wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I

didn’t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now,

诸葛亮——崩溃了 (捂耳朵 忙劝) ZhuGeliang:Don’t cry, don’t cry, stop! 老婆——(马上变脸) I ‘m going to study hard at once.

Wife: 给书童一个手势

Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?

Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to

welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that

boss has went to study in England.

Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of

ZhuGeliang’s house. SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang’s house

Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei Keeper

Zhangfei: Let me knock the door! Open! Open!!! (气愤 敲门 咚 咚 咚)

Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt?

(Open the door)

Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.

Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.

Liubei: En????

Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying English in England for the

exam of CET-6, and he may not be come back this month.

Liubei: OK! We will wait for him here!

Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will be come back, so, let’s go home!

Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply

autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn’t see Zhu Geliang as well. Two month passed, the cold winter is

coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is out.

SCENE 4: ZhuGeliang’s Home Actors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei Guanyu

ZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha ha ………

Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to repay his money. We can’t

let him in. ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don’t worry. I can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver tongue Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted you for a long time! (此时刘备用枪指着诸葛

亮头 幻灯片放无间道) Zhu: Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ?

Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me 500yuan, when you repay it for me? I

have starved for several days. (放乞丐的幻灯片)

ZhuGeliang: I owe you 500yuan? who can testify? Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man.

Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge. Zhu: Please look(扇子指向幻灯片 幻灯片放西农地图), although having ambition , you are just a guarder. We can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that we can reign the whole country.

Liubei: (若有所思) I’m so surprised! I don’t know you are so smart. Zhu Geliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your money?

Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new

country together with us? ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can’t. Because my wife forces me to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.

Liu: (面露难色)En….. Zhangfei: (拉刘备到身边耳语到)(Pull) Brother, come here. Everything is fake now such as the milk. Why can’t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ? (幻灯片

武状元苏乞儿作弊呢段)

Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.

(假答案图片)

SCENE 5: Outside ZhuGeliang’s house

Aside: After receiving the master degree, ZhuGeliang will go to work with Liubei to

establish a new Kingdom.So the couples apart.

Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei

Wife:Honey! ZhuGeliang:Darling!

Wife:Excellent man have a great ambition. You should put cause above

everything else , are sure not to miss me. ZhuGeliang:I will have a long journey .Please take care of yourself.( (转身悄悄说)) Don’t worried, never miss you!! (出门拜倒在久侯的刘备 关羽 张飞脚下) ZhuGeliang:(To Liubei)Your Majesty ( ['mædʒɪstɪ]主公), I will never forget your favour. I must be loyal and devoted to the last.

Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei: Let' go!!!!!

Aside: The three men go down to the hill. That is the end of the whole story. Thank you for your attention. (结束时放猫和老鼠的结尾)

旁白——话说刘关张桃园三结义之后四处奔波 一时间找不到工作 不得不在曹操的公司靠看

大门为生 而此时那个传说中的神秘人物诸葛卧龙先生正专心在家复习考试 因为他的老婆黄氏逼着他参加CET-6

场景一

刘备家

刘备 关羽 张飞上

关羽——大哥 咱们都饿了好几天了 这种吃糠咽菜的生活我们要过到什么时候啊 哎

刘备——二弟 这 大哥我怎么可能不难受嘛 可是常言道人在屋檐下 怎能不低头 我们现在曹

操的公司里给人家看大门 这年头工作这么难找 我们三兄弟学历又不高 好不容易能有口饭吃就很不错了 哪还有什么奢求呀

张飞 ——大哥 对了 上个月后面山头诸葛亮的老婆来问我们借走了500块钱去给她老公交

学费去了 都好久没还 我们是不是应该去要回来

关羽——是啊大哥 不然的话这样下去我们就得喝西北风了

刘备——哎 就是 我怎么这岔给忘了 走 走 走 二弟三弟随我这就上山 (收拾家伙 挽袖子) 旁白——兄弟三人就此上山

场景二

诸葛亮家诸葛亮上

诸葛亮——大叫好 我就是绝顶聪明的诸葛亮 可我最近却很是郁闷 我那个娘子非要我去参加

什么大学英语六级考试 六级考试是个什么东西 我怎么听都没听说过 还要我看这么厚的书 做这么多的题(拿起手里的金瓶梅给大家亮亮) 我以后可是要当军师的!!又不是这个专业的 干嘛还要要看这种书

老婆——相公(远处喊)诸葛亮老婆上(比较啰嗦)

诸葛亮——娘子来了 我娘子啰嗦的像唐僧一样 说起话来我可受不了 快老实看书(装作认真

状)

老婆——相公 你的书背的怎么样了

诸葛亮——娘子啊 这些书看得我头昏眼花 光想打瞌睡

老婆——哎 相公呀 你有所不知 你看 现在外面竞争这么激烈 你要是不好好考六级 将来拿

个硕士文凭 以后找不到工作可怎么办呀 我们在这个小村子里都呆了小半辈子了 你看我连稍微大一点的城市 像铁岭都没去过

诸葛亮——娘子 你看老公我这么有才华 以后还愁找不到工作么 这些书太简单了 统统不用

看 (扔书)

老婆——哼 !!你说简单 那我考考你

诸葛亮——怎么 还要考我 舌战群儒我都不怕 小小考试焉能难道我(对观众说)

老婆——我要考你听写(诸葛亮郁闷状) 听着 apple怎么写 desk怎么写

诸葛亮——(不会 抓耳挠腮)

老婆——相公啊 你连这都不会 可怎么办呀 哎呀 我错了 我真的错了 我从一开始就不应该

嫁过来 如果我不嫁过来 就不会流落到这么一个伤心的地方 我好后悔呀

诸葛亮——崩溃了 (捂耳朵 忙劝)

诸葛亮——娘子莫哭 娘子莫哭 相公好好看书就是

老婆——(马上变脸) 这还差不多 你知道么 为了供你读书 咱们家已经欠了外面一屁股债 连

看大门的我都借过 如果这些人上门来逼债我可怎么办呀

诸葛亮——娘子 你说看大门的 ? 莫非就是呢个看大门的刘备 (抓胡子 兴奋 点头)

人搞笑英文剧本篇四:7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本-三顾茅庐

Three visits to the cottage

Aside: Three visits to the cottage(中文名三顾茅庐) is a story from one of the Four

Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted his whole life to the cause and died in harness.

Our script is revised from this story . In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own SWordsman(中文名武林外传),The Flirting Scholar(中文名唐伯虎点秋香) were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide.

Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But this play is the result of painstaking efforts of our group. So we present our script to you and wish you will like it. Three visits to the cottage

Aside: After their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the

three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.

SCENE 1: Liubei's home

Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei

Guanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic

life end? It's so terrible!

Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb

says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come down to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?

Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his

husband’s CET-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.

Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouse

Liubei: Alas! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me

and go to the mountain for dunning!

Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang. SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang’s house

Actors: ZhuGeliang Zhu’s Wife

ZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What’s CET-6? Do you know? You?(Ask the audience) I’ve never heart about that. And she obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. It’s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?

Wife: Darling! ZhuGeliang:My wife is coming,she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.

Wife: My dear, how about your study? ZhuGeliang:These books make me want to doze. I’m dizzy. Wife: Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can’t pass cet6 to get

your master’s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here

for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Tianjin.(cry) ZhuGeliang:Don’t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don’t need to learn.

Wife: Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen,read and see! ZhuGeliang:A piece of cake!

ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can’t. Wife: Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?

Wife: You can’t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really

wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I

didn’t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now, ZhuGeliang:Don’t cry, don’t cry, stop! I ‘m going to study hard at once.

Wife (laugh): That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I

even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they

dun for debts. ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?

Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!

Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?

Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to

welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him

that boss has went to study in England.

Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of

ZhuGeliang’s house.

SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang’s house

Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei Keeper

Zhangfei: Let me knock the door! Open! Open!!!

Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt?

(Open the door)

Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.

Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.

Liubei: En????

Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying English in England for the

exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.

Liubei: OK! We will wait for him here!

Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will be come back, so, let’s go home! Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply

autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn’t see Zhugeliang as well . Two month passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is out.

SCENE4 Outside ZhuGeliang’s house

Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei Keeper

Zhangfei: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him

up for you. It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.

Liubei: These days, the borrower is the god! Let’s go there again and show our

the warmest heart to move them.(Knock the door)

Keeper:My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-6. Please wait

for a moment!

Zhangfei:Xiao Zhu! Come out! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle

and his third niece. Get out, or I will burn your house down!

Guanyu: Sunflower press! AI. Litter brother, big brother has said several times,

We are intellectuals, understand? Don't be so rude, we are here for

debt, not for his life. If you will kill him, where is our money?

Liubei: The submortagage crisis is so serious, don’t you know that simple

reason? If you know, please bat your eyes!

Zhangfei (Bat eyes)

Guanyu: sunflower press!!!!!

Zhangfei: Where did you get this KongFu?

Guanyu: Hehe! I get it from a TV program called “My Own SWordsman”, which

is so popular with lots of people in China!

Zhangfei: Why not say it earlier? We three brother could run a company of Chinese

KongFu if we had know that before!

Guanyu: Oh!! That is a good idea!!!!

Keeper: Don’t interrupt!!!! Boss is reading!!!

Liubei: Keep quite!!!

Aside: at this time, zhugeliang is exciting, but his wife come back soon.

SCENE 5: ZhuGeliang’s Home Actors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei Guanyu

ZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha ha ………

Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to repay his money. We can’t

let him in. ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don’t worry. I can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver tongue Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted you for a long time! Zhu: Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ?

Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you repay it for me? I have

starved for several days. ZhuGeliang: I owe you $500? who can testify? Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man.

Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge. Zhu: Please look, although having ambition , you are just a guarder .We can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that we can reign the whole country.

Liubei: I’m so surprised! I don’t know you are so ideal. ZhuGeliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your money?

Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new

country together with us? ZhuGeliang: But I can’t help you, I have accustom the life at present.

Liubei: If you don’t help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please don’t

refuse. ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can’t. Because my wife forces me to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.

Liu: En….. Zhangfei: (Pull) Brother, come here. Everything is fake now

such as the milk. Why can’t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ?

Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first. SCENE 6: ZhuGeliang’s Home Actors: Wife Keeper

Aside: Because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key, Liubei Guanyu

Zhangfei have been starving for one month.

Keeper:(Happy)Sir , you are really a god . CET6 has got 600 scores. Be really to startle

the universe and move the gods.

Wife:What happened? 600 scores? Oh! Do not shoulder your several years

studying at a cold window; Do not shoulder my night holding candle accompanying you. After your Master graduates, happy life will approach. Cars, house, money!

SCENE 7: Outside ZhuGeliang’s house

Aside: After receiving the master degree, ZhuGeliang will go to work with Liubei to

establish a new Kingdom.So the couples apart.

Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei

Wife:Honey! ZhuGeliang:Darling!

Wife:Excellent man have a long-range ambition. You should put cause above

everything else , are sure not to miss me. ZhuGeliang:I will have a long journey .Please take care of yourself.(Turn around) Don’t worried, never miss you!!(Run) ZhuGeliang:(To Liubei)Your Majesty, I will never forget your favour. I should be loyal and devoted to the last. Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei: Let' go!!!!!

Aside: The three men go down to the hill. That is the end of the whole story. Thank

you for your attention.

人搞笑英文剧本篇五:英语5人搞笑微电影剧本

英语微电影剧本《Whose treat》

演员:A—— ,B—— ,C—— ,D—— ,旁白——

编剧: 摄影:

后期制作:

插曲:场景一《铃儿响叮当》场景二《雪绒花》场景三《泰坦尼克号主题曲》场景四《flash》场景五《never say goodbye》或者《字母歌》

道具:一份报纸(最好是英文的),三份试卷(白纸即可),100元,64元找零,布娃娃 (场景一:未定空地____5个人都到, 拍摄)

旁白:One day ,some yang people want to get takeout as their dinner 一天,几个年轻人想叫外卖吃(直接录旁白,念完时候镜头落在四个人身上)

A: let’s get takeout ,please?(旁白念完直接开始)

B:why not? I like it .(开心,满足)

C:It's up to you .(看着A)

D:OK,but i have a good idea……(手托下巴,卖关子)

A:go on ,please(请求语气)

D:we always ”going Dutch “,.it‘s time to enjoy someone’s treat……我们总是AA制,这次找个人请客吧(扫一眼大家,继续卖关子)

C: but how should we drag the unfortunate? talk to us,please(请求)

D:(笑)OK,OK…….Each of us tell a joke, if not making others laugh, just pay ! 我们每人讲一个笑话,如果不能把其他人逗笑,就买单哦。(得意)

A,B,C:good idea!(大家拍手,异口同声)

A:Let me tell a joke first .the title is” I'm Glad “.A school teacher was telling her

pupils the importance of making others glad. 我先讲吧,题目是“我很高兴”。一个老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。现在,她说

(切到场景二,到一个教室,或有椅子的地方,把笑话表演出来,, 拍)

旁白:Now, she said现在,她说

赵雪:children ,has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?你们当中有谁让别人高兴过?

王鹏:teacher, I've made someone glad yesterday.昨天我就使别人高兴过。

赵雪:Well done. Who was that?做得好,是谁呢?

王鹏:My granny.我奶奶。

赵雪:Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.好孩子,现在告诉我们,你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。

王鹏:Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’!是这样的,老师。我昨天去看她,在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说:‘奶奶,我要回家了。’她说:‘啊,我很高兴!’ (切回场景一,BCD哈哈大笑A见状很开心,)

A:oh, i got it !我做到了(很开心)

B:yeah,yeah, maybe you just tell your own story .(指着A说完捂嘴笑)

A: I……(要解释,被B拦下)

B:OK,now ,It's my turn .”a gentle reminder”is the title.Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. 婚后已

久,我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。

(切换场景三,移至餐厅或有椅子的地方, 拍摄,)

B:On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, 在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上,我们正坐在早餐桌旁,我暗示道:(录旁白形式)

双:"Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"“亲爱的,你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗?” B:Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said,他放下报纸,眼睛直直地望着我:

田:"So, you want to switch seats?"“因此,你想交换座位吗?”

(切回场景一,ACD哈哈大笑中,)

B:so, i got it,(对C)maybe you will like the man in the future (笑)it‘s your turn C: oh,no ,he is stupid (不屑),my title is “girl,oh little girl”题目是“让人无奈的孩子”When they're together, my five-year-old daughter and her cousin tend to cause mayhem. (['meɪhem] )one Saturday, I put my foot down.我五岁的女儿和她的表妹在一起的时候,总要招来大乱。一个星期六,我开始抗议了。

(切至场景四,某空地, 拍摄)

: "All right, you two,"No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting." “好啦,你们两个,”我严厉地说,“不许叫喊,

不许乱拿,不许哭闹,不许乱敲,不许取笑,不许扯淡,不许弄坏玩具,不许乱抓,不许打架。” (转身要走), 双:“come on ,MengMeng, let's get dirty . "“来, ,我们来把自己弄脏吧。” (切回场景一,ABD哈哈笑) B:OK,we three all did it ,now,(对D)only you left D:i’m very afraid now,maybe I’ll fail it . Let me try .it’s “A dollar per point”一分一块钱A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.一天,教授正在给学生们监考。 (切场景五,至 教室, 拍摄) D(旁白形式):He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.他发下试卷,然后回到讲台前等待。( 轩演教授, 坐中间, 演学生,考试时, 左顾右盼很着急,交卷子时, 左看看右看看掏出100元夹在卷子里并且写了一句话A dollar per point.)Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. "考试结束了,学生们纷纷交回试卷The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."考试结束了,学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票,还有一张纸条写着:“一分一块钱。”The next class the professor handed the tests back out. And walk up to the student ,said,第二堂课,教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。走到那个 旁,

田:”here are your test and $64 change“这是你的试卷还有64块钱的找零。(邱大囧) (切回场景一,ABC死憋住不笑,各种憋)

D:well,my treat(很无奈)OK,you win……i’ll buy it right now(走开) (ABC终于放声大笑,落幕)

人搞笑英文剧本篇六:英语搞笑短剧剧本

三打白骨精

Three Times’ Beating Monster

人物:T唐僧S:孙悟空 E:猪八戒

J:沙僧

B:白骨精(何平) B1:B变成的村姑 B2:B变成的太婆B3:B变化成的老头 T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?

S: Bajie,map!

E: (摸出,递给S)

S: Look,boss (凑近T)………(T、S一齐转向E)

T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!

E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)

T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west

E: But……

T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?

E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.

S: Fat Pig!

E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will………. S: You will what(凶相)?

E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).

S: Hm!

T:(轻咳)Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?

E: You see , boss is hungry,too!

T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!

J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away….. T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?

S: No problem!(安装)(B已躲在一旁偷看)

J: This is…..?

S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!

T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!

S: Bye!(走)

T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》

B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)

B1: (接近三人,望着)Can I join you?

J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.

B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!

T: Bomb?(打出)

B1: Double King!

T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)

S: (回来,看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)

B1: (倒)Ah……

T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!

S: She is a monster!

T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)

S: Oh,please don’t……

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲,走音离谱)

S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)

T: (呛住,咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!

B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆) B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?

T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑,B2想看后面是什么,T挡) S: (咬牙切齿)You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后,S打,不想打到T头,T晕,S再打死B2)

E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)

J: Look,(伸食指)how many?

T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)

B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊) S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)

T: (想阻止,未及)You,you.....(险些晕,E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives! S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster! T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!

S: (悲,离去)(音乐,营造 “假”悲伤气氛)《人鬼情未了》

J: boss, brother Monkey is.......

T: Don't mention that guy any more!

B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)

T: (惊)You are......

B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗,被击退)

B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......

S: (悄悄走到B后,打B,B晕)A thousand years later.

T: Wukong?

E: Oh,Brother Monkey!

J: Our hero is back!

T: I,I can't understand......What happened?

S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!

T: How,how did you find out?

S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)

T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声) S: What?

T: I'm sorry.

S: Em? Louder,please?

T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)(音乐响)《敢问路在何方》(这个放伴奏) (谢幕)

人搞笑英文剧本篇七:英语搞笑短剧剧本[1]

三打白骨精

Three Times’ Beating Monster

人物:T唐僧S:孙悟空 E:猪八戒

J:沙僧

B:白骨精(何平) B1:B变成的村姑 B2:B变成的太婆B3:B变化成的老头

T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?

S: Bajie,map!

E: (摸出,递给S)

S: Look,boss (凑近T)………(T、S一齐转向E)

T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!

E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)

T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west

E: But……

T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?

E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So. S: Fat Pig!

E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….

S: You will what(凶相)?

E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).

S: Hm!

T:(轻咳)Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?

E: You see , boss is hungry,too!

T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!

J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..

T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?

S: No problem!(安装)(B已躲在一旁偷看)

J: This is…..?

S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!

T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!

S: Bye!(走)

T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》

B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)

B1: (接近三人,望着)Can I join you?

J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.

B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!

T: Bomb?(打出)

B1: Double King!

T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)

S: (回来,看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)

B1: (倒)Ah……

T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!

T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)

S: Oh,please don’t……

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲,走音离谱)

S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)

T: (呛住,咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!

B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)

B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?

T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑,B2想看后面是什么,T挡)

S: (咬牙切齿)You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后,S打,不想打到T头,T晕,S再打死B2) E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)

J: Look,(伸食指)how many?

T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)

B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)

S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)

T: (想阻止,未及)You,you.....(险些晕,E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!

S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!

T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!

S: (悲,离去)(音乐,营造 “假”悲伤气氛)《人鬼情未了》

J: boss, brother Monkey is.......

T: Don't mention that guy any more!

B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)

T: (惊)You are......

B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗,被击退)

B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......

S: (悄悄走到B后,打B,B晕)A thousand years later.

T: Wukong?

E: Oh,Brother Monkey!

J: Our hero is back!

T: I,I can't understand......What happened?

S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you! T: How,how did you find out?

S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)

T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)

S: What?

T: I'm sorry.

S: Em? Louder,please?

T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)(音乐响)《敢问路在何方》(这个放伴奏)

(谢幕)

《孔雀东南飞》

Wanderseveryfivemiles

焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)

太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)

Prologue

(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)

J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy

wifeisWuSong.

(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!

(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?

MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,

smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender

thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!

(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)

MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)

Act1

(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)

JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!

(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?

L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?

JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland

dearestmother-in-law”.

L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?

JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so

lazy……

L:But……

JM:Neverinterruptme!

L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken

and……

JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!

L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour

son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)

Act2

(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)

L:Mum,I’mback!

LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?

L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.

LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon

marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten

tome.Lookatyourself……

L:But,mum……

L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?And

I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.

LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo

andtellhim.(下)

L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅 铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)

Act3

(J睡眼惺忪上)

J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?

(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!

(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.

(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now

shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.

JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?

J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!

JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice

girl,goandtakeherback!

J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!

Act4

(J开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗)

A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!

Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)

B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)

C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头,但踩到了A的脚)

AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!

J(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough?

(三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量)

A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!

B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!

C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand

robthewedding!

A&B:Goodidea!

J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible!

AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!

J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!

(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo

withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.

B:Haveyougotanyexperience?

J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书$1,000,000)

Act5

(转眼已到了婚礼之期.MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (J和三强盗跃至台中)

ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!

A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!

B:AndIplantedonetree.

C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---

J:Giveusallyourmoney!

(L听到J的声音,掀起了盖头)

L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)

(MS大怒,挥拳向J打来.J矮身一躲,MS打中了J身后的L,L晕倒)

J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!(挥拳向MS冲去)

(J与MS混战,JM上,以拐杖击晕MS)

(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)

J(扶起L,关切地问):Honey,howareyou?

L(哭状):Ihurtalot!

J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)

L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)

(音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)

Big words of western tour (大话西游)

Chapter 1

Site:The wedding

Characters:牛魔王 、至尊宝、紫霞、小妖

Aside: The story begins with a wedding. The Bull King is going to have a concubine.

牛:Today is my wedding. I am going to have a concubine. Ha ha ha „„.

妖:Concubine? Dose your wife agree to it?

牛:Oh! She is not lovely anymore. She’s right now at the Flame Mountain. She can do nothing about it!

(至尊宝从后台走入人群中)

牛:Let me introduce my brother to you! My bro!

Come here! This is my brother.

(牛深情地转向紫霞)

人搞笑英文剧本篇八:那些年,我们一起追的男孩(剧本,英文搞笑版)

旁白:Youth are gliding past without our awareness. We will get old someday after all. When we begin to think back to our lost youth, our youthful achievements, the people we met and know, we may find that youth is a beautiful movement in the best part of our lives, no matter with happiness or pities. Now, our playlet group of youth will bring a play named “You Are The Apple Of My Eye”, Chinese name is 那些年,我们一起追的男孩。It’s about the story of one boy and three girls in the school. Let’s begin.

各自介绍自己的身份。

Scene1: One day, on the playground ,the boy junjun is playing basketball.

Boy:(作势打篮球,擦汗等)

Girl1:(从门口缓缓进入,面朝观众,眼冒桃心,心理活动开始:Oh, how handsome he is! I must hold the chance. Now let me talk to him) Hi, I’m pingping, I think you’re very thirsty .I have a bottle of water. Do you need it?

Boy: Yes, thank you. I’m junjun. It’s nice to meet you.

Girl1:No, it’s my pleasure to meet you. Your basketball is played so well. Can I take some photos of you.

Boy: Of course. (开始摆各种造型)

Girl1:Thank you. May I take your phone number please?

Boy: Since you ask me so sincerely, if I don’t tell you, my image will be damaged. Girl1:en.. then...see you later.

Boy: Bye!

旁白:pingping has went back to his dormitory„ Her roommates leilei and tingting are doing the homework.

Girl1: Hey, come on .Look!

Girl2&3(齐声):What?!(女1和女2 同时冲了过来)

Girl2:Wow, he is so strong .(手捂嘴或脸,随即一把将女1手机抢了过去)。 I can’t breathe. (嘴巴微张,手捂心口) Who is he?

Girl1: I just know his name is junjun. I met him on the playground.

(看到女2拿着手机不放,呈焦急状) Give my phone back, quickly. Girl2:(痴呆+不舍):Let me look for a longer time .

Girl1:NO...Give me.

Girl2:Just a while.

Girl1:No.

Girl2: You are so mean...

(女1女2牵扯时) Girl3:Is that enough? He is just so so. You don’t need... (女3很不屑,话还未讲完,被打断了。。)

Girl1&2:Shut up.(狠狠瞪了女3一眼)

Girl3:Well, well ,I said nothing...

Scene2: Next morning, the class begin. (女1,女2 ,女3坐在各自位子上,男1从教室门进入,女1,女2注视着其步入教室,走向座位,路过女1女2是还朝她们了笑)

Girl1: It’s him, really him.

Girl2: I heard today our class has a new classmate transferred from another class. Is that him?

(此时,老师走进了教室,全班安静) Teacher: thousands of class fee were lost. It was still there during this morning. Who else will be thief? It must be in your class! If you don’t be honest, do not blame me... (在教室转两圈)。 That’s fine if you don’t be honest. Anyway, I know the thief is in your class. He must think that he is so smart. Now, take out your paper and pen. Write down the names you think that will be the thief. The top of three vote bring their bags to here and let me check. (看两眼) Take out papers! Now!

(男1偷笑,心理活动:It’s a good chance for me to perform myself, 随即站起身)

Teacher:What are you doing ?

Boy: How can you tell us to suspect our classmates?

Teacher: I’m the teacher or you are the teacher?!(以手指,一手叉腰)

Boy: You’re the teacher, but also you’re the garbage.

Teacher: What did you say?

Boy: I said you’re the garbage. Teacher: I think you have a guilty conscience. (两手叉腰) Let me check your bag. Now!

Girl3: Madame, you cannot do that!

Teacher: Can not do what?

Girl3: You cannot tell us to vote. You cannot tell us to suspect our classmates. We can pay the fee again. That’s not a big deal. Girl1: Yes, we can pay again. Teacher(对女3):Do not think you can say anything you want because you have good grades. Give me your bag.

Girl2: We don’t want to. We are not thieves. Boy; Garbage!

Teacher: Give me all your bags.

Girl3: No!! Teacher:(愤怒无比,呼吸异常):You, you... go out!! (面对女生,此时男吐了口唾沫在老师水杯中)。And you, out!

(场景切换,集体蹲马步,背景音乐《那些年》)

Boy: Are you tired? Girl2: Not at all. In fact, I can only feel happy with you.

Girl2:(不爽,拿本子击打男生)There is a fly..(贼笑)

旁白:the next day..the boy is on duty.. Girl3:Let’s go!

Girl2: I still have something to do. You go first!

Girl1&3:OK. Bye!

Girl2: Bye!

(女2看到1,3走后,立马拿出情书,交给男生,捂脸跑走...)

Boy:(背景音乐《my heart will go on》,细看情书,心理活动:The girl is pretty. Anyway, I’m lonely. It’s a good idea to use a love to have fun. It may be very interesting.)

Scene3:since then ,they have date every night.One day,on a

freezing cold night.leilei and junjun are walking along a river. (男1与女2对视数秒)

Boy: I feel very cold. (一摸女2 的手,吓一跳). Why are you colder than me?

Girl2: Because you’re warmer than me.

Boy(深情):I want to...I want to...I want to (男打了个喷嚏) I want to ask you and your friends for dinner.( 背景音乐:《倩女幽魂》) Girl2:(呼了口气,有点失望):en(点头,做娇羞状)

Scene4:At the table

(女2挽着男1到达,女1发现后,很愤怒...)

Girl1: You... How can you do that? You are my friend. Don’t you know I like him?

Girl2: Sorry, but this is not my fault. I can’t control that. Love cannot be handed over.

Girl1: No, you’re making excuses. You’re not my friend. I will kill you.

(双方互掐,直至离开)

Boy:

Girl3: I think you have already fallen in love with my friends. You are such a bad and false appearance and even fought with each other for you. Shame on you. You are not my type and nobody will love you. Girl3:(跑出去,对女1 女2):Are you enough ? The bad playboy didn’t deserve your love. You know what? He should say that he loved me

after he had said love to both of you. Don’t hang in a not tree. You have a dense forest.

(两人呆若木鸡)

旁白:the next day..

(每人轮流给了男1一巴掌) (晴天霹雳,男1仰天长叹,开始大话西游那段,放音乐,男2走过,回眸,盯了好久,之后男1挽着男2走,播放结婚进行曲)

旁白:Since then ,the prince and the frog have been living a happy life!

人搞笑英文剧本篇九:9到10人 英语剧本 ---孔雀东南飞现代搞笑版英文

9到10人 英语剧本 ---孔雀东南飞现代搞笑版英文

2011-05-03 17:47

Performance @ College : Story of Johnny and Lunch (孔雀东南飞现代搞笑版)

Characters:

Prologue

(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一个纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)

J: Everybody says that I'm henpecked, but in fact, I'm as strong as a tiger. (Whisper)While my wife is Wu Song. (拍门大叫)I'm not afraid of you! (内砸出一脸盆,J接着当成盾牌护着)Then,I'm afraid of whom? My wife lunch is the most famous woman in neighbourhood. She's braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me.All of this I do not care. I just want her to be tender than me. But she isn't! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!

Act One

(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)

JM:(拄着拐棍上)I can! (对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?

L:(揸住锅铲,扎着围裙,从门内跳出来)I'm here!I'm cutting chicken. What's up mum? JM: I've told you again and again that you should call me "my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law".

L: Ok. My most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what's up?

JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly, been so rude, so brusque, so lazy...

L: But...

JM:Never interrupt me!

L: Never interrupt me! Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have been working hard all day, cooking and washing. I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chickens and...

JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!

L:(生气挥动锅铲)Oh, you want a grandson, don't you?(开始脱围裙) Go and ask your son. I'm leaving!(扔下围裙,扔到JM脸上,下台)

Act Two

(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上台)

L: Mum, I'm back.

LM: You're back? Why? What happened?

L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law. LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See! I have already told you! When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly, stupid and poor. But you didn't listen to me. Look at yourself now!

L: But, mum...

LM: Never interrupt me!

L: Mum, I'm not interrupting you. I just want to tell you that you are always right, OK? And I'll marry whomever you want me to.

LM: (大喜)Nice girl! Just now, I met the Mayor's Son in the market. He said,"If your daughter haven't been married, I really really want to marry her!" Now that you're free again, I'll go and tell him (下台).

L: (惊愣)What? The Mayor's Son? The most famous play boy in neightbourhood? (手中锅铲掉地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下台)

Act Three

(J 睡眼惺忪上台)

J: (边走边道)Lunch! Lunch! Where are my socks? (走几步,在地上捡起袜子) Here they are! (闻一下) ER...How smelly! They're still dirty! (突然想起) Lunch has gone! I have to wash them myself! (肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh, I'm so hungry, but there is no breakfast! (捡起地上的围裙) This is Lunch's apron(围裙)! I miss her...EXCELLENT cooking skill so much! Now that she has gone, I have to cook for my mother and myself. JM:(上台) Where's my breakfast? Where is Lunch? Hasn't she got up yet? J:Mum, can't you remember? Lunch has gone!

JM: (沉吟片刻) Well, to tell you the truth, Johnny, a son without a wife is useless. Lunch is a nice girl. Go and take her back.

J: (立正敬礼)YES, MADAM!

ACT FORE

(J 开心地走着,忽然跳出三强盗)

A: Hey you! Stop and listen to me. The road is built by me!(一脚踩在一石头上) B: And I planted one tree!(踩同一石头)

C: If you want to go by this street...(欲踩石头,但踩到A的脚)

B:Give us...

A: All

C: your money!

J: (搜遍每一口袋,掏出一1角硬币)Is 1 mao enough?

(ABC晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量)

A: What a bad luck! This guy is broken!

B: If we can't rob any money today, we'll have nothing to eat tonight.

C: I heard that the Mayor's Son is going to marry Miss Lunch next month, we can go and rob the wedding!

AB: Good idea!

J:(惊讶)What? What? Lunch is going to get married? Impossible!

A:Why?

B: A pretty girl and a rich man.

C: What a good couple!

J: But Lunch is my wife, we haven't got divorced yet.(突然有主意) I've got an idea! You are going to rob the wedding, aren't you? I'll go with you. you take the money, and I take the bride.

B: Have you got any experience?

J: No, but I've got this!(J 脱下鞋子,从里面抹出一张支票,上书:$1,000,000,ABC见状跟着J下台,目光跟着钱)

Act Five

(转眼已到婚礼之期,MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上台,L盖着红盖头极不情愿的被拉上台) (J A B C 跃至台中)

A: Hey you!

BCJ: Stop and listen to us!

A: The road is built by me.

B: And I planted one tree!

C: If you want to go by this street...

J: Give us all your money!

(L 听到J 的声音,掀起了盖头)

L: (惊喜万分)Johnny! (不顾一切地飞奔到J 的身后)

(MS大怒,挥拳向J 打来,J 矮身一躲,MS 打中J 身后的L , L晕倒)

J: (火冒三丈) How dare you beat my wife! (挥拳打向MS)

(J与 MS混战,JM悄悄上在MS后)

J: (指着MS后向MS讲)Hey, Pretty girl!

(MS向后一望,JM用拐杖将其打倒)

(J 将MS胸前的新郎标志撤下来,戴在自己的胸前)

J: (扶起L,关切地问)Honey, How are you?

L:(Crying...) Thurtalot!

J: Don't cry baby, I'll fetch some medicine for you (下台)

L:(起身去追)Wait for me!(跑下台)

(音乐起:罗密欧与祝英台)

END...

人搞笑英文剧本篇十:英语-西游记英文搞笑剧本

孙悟空 Monkey ( M for short ) 白骨精 Jenny White ( J for short )

唐僧 Tang Seng ( T for short ) 黄袍怪 Yellow ( Y for short )

沙僧 Sha Seng ( S for short ) 猪八戒 Pig ( P for short )

Act 1

(J 照着镜子上台)

(这时,电话铃响了起来,J不耐烦地接过听筒,于是,一个更另她心烦的声音就在电话那头响起。)

Y: Hello! It’s me.

J: I know it’s you. You call me every day ,it has 400 years 。

Y: And today, I’ll ask the same question again.Will you marry me?

(J对这位契而不舍的追求者已厌烦到了极点。)

J: You wish ! I get one more pimple. How bad!

Y: Ah! I just call to tell you the meat of Tang Seng can make you beautiful and Tang Seng will come to our place.We can go and catch him together.

J: ok ,ok,. I will have a rest.(不待Y说完,J就没好气地挂断了电话。)

Y;Refuse me again .I will never give up.(说罢,好不威风的下台去了)

J: How nasty he is! ( 她想了想,说 ) But Tang Seng is really good for me.(拿起一副望远镜。J便观察起T的行踪来。)

J: ( 欢喜万分 ) Ah-ha,

(M握着金箍棒在前面探路,打电话给T)

M:Hi,master.

T; monkey,where are we ?

M; DaHuangZheng,JieShouShi

M; Ok,we are coming.

(P在前面摇摆走着,T随后,可怜S提着许多行李上台)

M;master,please(指着一休息地方)

(J拿起一纸筒,把耳朵凑上去偷听T师徒四人谈话)

T: Monkey! You are great, thank you very much ,I am happy to be your teacher and...... (P懒洋洋地突然打断 )

P: Sir! I’m so hungry.

T: I’m hungry too. Monkey, go and buy some food。Don’t go to LanZhouNiurouMianGuan and LiuYiFanDian, just go to ChangQingFanDian.It is cheap。

(M点头答应,欲要离去)

T; monkey,just go to changqingfandian.

M; yes sir.( 欲要离去)

T; monkey,wash your box.

M; ok.ok( 欲要离去)

T; monkey,be careful

M; thank you sir( 欲要离去)

T; monkey....(M不耐烦打断)

M;you,go away(飞奔而去)

(剩余师徒三人拿出经书念起三字经,一会就睡着了。舞台另一头的J听了不禁眉开眼笑。) J: It’s a good time.

(J迅速地打扮好,挎着篮子走到了T师徒的面前。P闻着香味醒了,并叫醒师傅)

P: Ah, a beautiful girl. Hello! What’s in your basket? It smells nice! J: Some food for my son.《husband》-

P: I’m hungry. Can I have some?

(心急的P伸手去拿篮子里的东西,J假装惊慌地护住了篮子。)

T: Pig! be polite.

J: You are very kind. I can give you some food.

T: ( 双手合十 )Good girl。

M: Monster!

(T听到Monster一词立刻吓得晕倒在S怀中。S惊恐万分)

S;master master,Pig Pig, come here

M: No matter how big you are, I’ll kill you.

J: How nasty you are!

M: Monster! Take my stick!

(M举起金箍棒就要向J的头顶击下。就在这千钧一发之际,P忽然扑上去将M拦腰抱住) P: Beauty, run! Run run.

(T 逃过一劫,对各位徒弟尤其是M的拼死保护感动之至,对S说;monkey is great。情不自禁地唱起了Only You。其结果,三个土地全头痛欲裂,大吐特吐。)

(终于,T唱完了)

T: ( 清清嗓子 ) Monkey, go and buy the lunch. I’m very hungry.

M: Yes,master,Just stay here。(边说边画圈 )。Goodbye sir.

(M离开后,T等就在圈内又念起三字经,不一会打起瞌睡来,P更是鼾声震天。) (J见M走了,便又来打T的主意。她走了两步,踩到了M画的圈。)

J: Ouch。

(J知道M的厉害,不敢轻举妄动。但T近在眼前,她实在不甘心放弃。她想了想,忽地计上心头,变出一盒KFC。

J: Come, come Come。。。

(T等仿佛着了魔似的,梦游般循着KFC的香气向圈子外走。J终于如愿地把他们引出来了。就在J的手向T伸去的时候,M赶回来了,再次将J当场抓获。)

M: You again!

J: You 。you. How nasty you are!

M: Now you cannot run!

(T 刚刚清醒,看到厮杀场面,想到自己又一次有惊无险,感叹;monkey is really great。不仅又唱起了Only You。M不堪忍受此歌声,抓着J的手也放松了。J乘机溜走了。)

(T唱罢,众人终于松了口气。P忽然发现M正望着J远去的方向发愣,伸手在M的眼前晃了晃,M竟然没有反应。)

P: ( 调侃地 ) Ah, you like that beautiful girl.

(M 回过神来,发现自己的失态,给了P一拳。)

T: Monkey, I know that woman is nice, but you can’t love her. loving girls needs time and money. you don’t have much time and much money.

M: I won’t.

T: That’s fine. Everybody ,are you reday?

(列队齐声):Yes sir。

(音乐响起——《Nobody》)

(转身跳起了nobody)

相关热词搜索:三人搞笑英文剧本 5分钟剧本英文搞笑6人 搞笑英文短剧剧本

最新推荐成考报名

更多
1、“人搞笑英文剧本”由中国招生考试网网友提供,版权所有,转载请注明出处。
2、欢迎参与中国招生考试网投稿,获积分奖励,兑换精美礼品。
3、"人搞笑英文剧本" 地址:http://www.chinazhaokao.com/yingyu/yingyuziyuan/118409.html,复制分享给你身边的朋友!
4、文章来源互联网,如有侵权,请及时联系我们,我们将在24小时内处理!