英语双人短剧

导读：　英语双人短剧篇一：英语二人剧本 搞笑 ...

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英语双人短剧篇一：英语二人剧本

搞笑英语话剧剧本《 荆珂刺秦王》

旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.

Action I

太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?

阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）

太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?

阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.

太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?

阿三：Yes.

Action II

（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）

荆轲

Are you Li mochou?

李莫愁

Yes.

荆轲

OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.

李莫愁

Are you challenging me?

荆轲

Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意

李莫愁

Come on!

音乐起

两人冲上前来

“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”

李莫愁倒地

荆轲大笑

李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）

李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what

you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.

荆轲再次大笑

太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?

太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?

荆柯：Sure!

太子丹：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?

太子丹晕倒

荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?

荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：

To be or not to be, that's a question.

阿三：Hero，we need your help.

荆柯：I am busy now!

太子丹：You can get a lot of money.

荆柯：I am very busy now!

阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?

荆柯：I am very very busy now!

阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.

荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!

阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.

阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?

观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .

太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.

荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法 tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.

阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗„„

荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.

太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!

Action Ш

（《大话西游》主题曲响起）

荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.

阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.

荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends

太子丹：I will miss you, baby.

（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）

荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.

妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）

荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)

妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.

荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless...

英语双人短剧篇二：Lost Dog——二人英语剧本

Scene I

Doctor looked dejected and dismayed, drinking alone in a restaurant. Then, the patient came in, sat beside her.

P (said in a warm, deep voice): Oh, doctor, it’s glad to see you here. I went to the clinic to see you but the nurse told me you had days off. (She stared at Daisy and asked) Why are you drinking in broad daylight? Is there anything bothering you?

D: Oh, Penny, I'm fine. (She sighed deeply and covered her face with her hands.)It is just my dog. She disappeared.

P: Oh, I am sorry to hear that. When did you find her disappear?

D: It was at last Friday night. I have been looking for her these days.

P: Have you ever been to the central park to find her?

D: Central park? No, the park is too big. It is impossible by my own.

P (said brightly): Ha. It’s alright. I can help you.

D: Wow, it is just so kind of you. Thank you!

P: How about seeing you in front of the fountain at 19:20?

D: OK, see you then.

Scene II

Doctor and the patient were in the central park. Quiet as the park was, nobody was there except the two.

D: Oh, Penny, I am sorry for bothering you at the moment.

P (managing to sound warm): It’s all right. You have helped me a lot. By the way, she is such a lovely dog. No one expects her to be hurt. Come on.

It was so dark. Daisy lost her bearing.

P (shouted): Daisy! Come here! I found her!

D (rushed to Penny): Oh, wait a minute. No. It cannot be my dog. I mean，they look alike, but I am sure that she is not my dog.

P: Oh, look at her. She is absolutely your dog.

D (Confused): Why? I know my dog.

P: How can you tell?

D: I just can. She has lived with me for years.

P: Do you have any way to try her?

D: Yes. (Daisy Picked up a spicy sausage and fed the dog) Well, (she said after a pause) nothing happened.

P (thrilled): So, what would happen if she were your dog?

D (Whispers mysteriously): After having the sausage, my dog will spin around and become a super-dog.

P (strangely excited): What kind of super power she has?

D: To heal the pain. She has helped me since I became a doctor.

P (amazed): Wow! So, she has been helping you to cure your patients for years!

D: Well, I cannot deny that she helps me a lot.

P: I am sorry. I can’t help you out. I am afraid that I must go now.

D: It’s all right. I really appreciate all that you did tonight. Thanks a lot. Bye~ P: Bye~

Scene III

Penny brought a spicy sausage with her and went back home. Daisy stalked her all the way. When Penny opened the door, Daisy found her dog was lying on the ground. Penny fed the dog carefully. Stimulated by the spicy sausage, the dog bit Penny on the right leg.

D (dialed 911): Hello sir, a woman stole my dog, please come to 118 Fifth Street.

D (rushed in and asked immediately): Are you okay?

P: Why are you here?

D: I stalked you all the way. I knew there is something wrong with you.

P: What? I don’t understand. (She waited a few seconds.)Why did she become crazy?

D: She just hates spicy food. She is not a super dog, but an average, normal dog. P: (frowned at Daisy.)Then why do you care her so much？

D: For me, she is a member of my family. That’s it.

P: (put her face in her palm) I am the idiot indeed

英语双人短剧篇三：英语小短剧

H:hey!Z,I’m very great to see you!

Z:me too.

H:I love the class reunions party.

z:So do i.It will be great honey.We will get to see our old classmates and catch up to see how they have been doing.

H:Yeah.I guess so.Oh,haven’t P gotten to our party?

z:let us call him to see what he is doing now.

cal…………

H:this is H,is it P speaking?

P:Yeah,I know you both are missing me so much.I can’t wait getting here! hello.

h &z:Aha,Long time no see.

hug…….

p:Hey,h & Z!How great to see you!

H:likewise!It’s been a long time.

P:Yes.So,H,how have you been?

H:Can’t complain! I have two grand children,who are in college and my business is going well.

p:what! I can’t believe my ear!You do business now.Don’t forget you are 64 years old already.

H:yeah.I know I have been an old man,but I’m very happy to do it.I can’t imagine what my life will be without my business.

P:You are really an energetic man.

H:How are you going?

P:I was a teacher before .You know I retired when I was 60.Now,I have much time to do what I couldn’t imagine doing. Now I plan flowers in my yard ,it’s very beautiful .What’s more ,my students always come to see me .

H:that sounds great.

Z:Wait!Stop!.hey,I have a good news to tell you.I want start a company and I hope you two can join me.

P:Are you serious??

Z:Of course.I want to start an earthquake early warning company.You know there are many earthquakes happening in our Earth.I start the company not to make money,the only purpose of mine is to make something meaningful to our Earth.

H:Great !But I have to manage my company normally,I’m sorry I guess I could’ t help you.

P:H,Z’s idea is very meaningful,you are old enough to give the opportunity to young men.I always think I should do something to our country even our world.

Z:That’s what’s I thought.I will start it and hold it in my life time.And then give my company to young men.H I know you are busy so I won’t force you join me.Maybe you can think twice.

H:Oh…we have been friends so many years,now that Z need help I will try my best to help you to set up this company.

P:Ok ,let’s do this after the party.

Z:I can’t argee more.

H:Just do it.

英语双人短剧篇四：英语短剧

焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)

刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)

焦母johnny’s mother(jmforshort)

刘母lunch’s mother(lmforshort)

太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)

强盗burglars(abandc)

prologue 序幕

(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)

j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my

wife is wusong.

译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。

(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!

译：我才不怕你呢！

(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell! 译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊！

(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)

my god! who can help me?(下)

译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？

act1 第一幕

(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)

jm(拄拐棍上):i can!

(对门内)lunch! lunch! where are you?

l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ，mum?

jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”.

l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?

jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so

lazy……

l:but……

jm:never interrupt me!

l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all

daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken

and……

jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!

l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son. i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)

act2

(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)

l:mum, i’m back!

lm:you are back?why?what happened?

l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law. lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on

marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen

to me. look at yourself……

l:but,mum……

lm:never interrupt me!

l:mum,i’m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and

i’ll marry whomever you want me to.

lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughter

haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go

and tell him.(下)

l(惊愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的锅

铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)

act3

(j睡眼惺忪上)

j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?

(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!

(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.

(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’m so hungry! but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围

裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now

she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.

jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet? j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone!

jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice

girl,go and take her back!

j(立正敬礼):yes madam!

act4

(j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)

a:hey you!stop and listen to us!

the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)

b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)

c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚)

ab&c:give us all your money!

j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough?

(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)

a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!

b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight! c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next month.we can go and

rob the wedding!

a&b:good idea!

j(惊讶):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!

ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!

j:but lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced yet!

(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’tyou? i’ll go

with you. you take the money and i take the bride.

b:have you got any experience?

j:no. but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)

act5

(转眼已到了婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)

(j和三强盗跃至台中)

abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us!

a:the road is built by me!

b:and i planted one tree.

c:if you want to go by this street---

j:give us all your money!

(l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头)

l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后) (ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒) j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向ms冲去） (j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms)

(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)

j(扶起l，关切地问):honey, how are you?

l(哭状):i hurt a lot!

j:don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)

l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)

英语双人短剧篇五：英语短剧

英语短剧：小兔子乖乖

英语短剧：小兔子乖乖

作者：佚名 剧本来源：网络

英语短剧：小兔子乖乖

时间：阳光明媚的星期天早晨

地点：鸟语花香的动物王国

人物：Little Duck，Miss Cat， Miss Rabbit，Mr Dog

旁白：Little Duck要去看望外婆。一路上他又唱又跳，高兴极了。在小河边，他碰到了Miss Cat。

Duck：（很好奇）Hello，Miss Cat．What're you doing？

Cat：（急得抓耳挠腮）Hello，Little Duck．There's a big fish in the river．I'm hungry，but I can't get it．

Duck：Don't worry．Let me help you．

（Little Duck跳进水里，一会儿就帮Miss Cat抓到了鱼。）

Duck：Here is the fish for you，Miss Cat．Have a good meal．

Cat：Thank you，Little Duck．You are so kind．

Duck：That's all right，Miss Cat．I must go now．I'm going to my grandmother's home．Bye-bye！

Cat：Bye-bye！

（Little Duck继续赶路。忽然他看到Miss Rabbit躺在草地上，连忙跑过去。）

Rabbit：（躺在草地上）Oh，Little Duck．I run too fast and my leg is broken．I can't stand up and I can't walk．

Duck：Don't worry．Let me help you．

（Little Duck拿出一条手帕帮Miss Rabbit包扎好伤口，然后扶着她回家。）

Duck：Don'tworry，Miss Rabbit．You'll getwellsoon．

Rabbit：Yes，I will．Thank you，Little Duck．It's so kind of you．

Duck：Not at all，Miss Rabbit．But I must go now．I'm going to my grandmother's home．Good-bye！

Rabbit：Good-bye！

（Little Duck唱着歌又开始上路了，走着走着，他看到Mr Dog坐在家门口，看上去非常着急。）

Duck：Good morning，Mr Dog．You look worried．What can I do for you？

Dog：Oh，good morning，Little Duck．I got a letter from my friend，Mr Cock．ButIcan'tread and Idon'tknow what he wants me to do．

Duck：Don't worry，Mr Dog．Let me help you．

（Mr Dog笑呵呵地把信递给Little Duck，Little Duck很仔细地将信的内容读给Mr Dog听。）

Dog：（满意地笑）Thank you，Little Duck．It's really very kind of you．

Duck：You're welcome，Mr Dog．（抬头看看挂在半空中的太阳）But I must go now．I'm going to see my grandmother．

Dog：（摸摸Little Duck的头）Don't worry，Little Duck．Let me send you to your grandmother's home．

Duck：Thank you，Mr Dog．

（Mr Dog驮着Little Duck一路欢歌笑语向外婆家跑去……）

骄傲的孔雀(A proud peacock)

小松鼠：（软翻上）

小猴：（围着小松鼠）Great! Great! Let me have a try.

棒极了！棒极了！让我也来一个。

狐狸：（追上）Hi! You two, don’t play any more. The forest concert is going to begin.

嗨！你们两个，别再闹了。森林音乐会将要开始了。

You’d better go and prepare for it.

你们最好快去做准备工作吧！

小猴：Look, I’m just preparing for it.

看，我不正在排练吗？（准备前滚翻）

狐狸：You naught monkey! Don’t play any more.

你这个调皮的猴子，别贪玩了。

小松鼠：Let’s go! Little monkey!

我们走吧！小猴！

小猴：Would you like to go with us, Fox?

你和我们一起走吗？狐狸？

狐狸：Thanks! But I’m going to invite the peacock to our concert. I’ll be back soon.

谢谢！但我还要去请孔雀来参加我们的音乐会。我马上就回来。

松鼠、小猴：See you later!

等会见！

狐狸：See you later!

等会见！

（自言自语地）My beautiful peacock. Where are you? Can you hear me? （狐狸下）

美丽的孔雀。你在哪里？你能听到我在叫你吗？

孔雀（上）：Hi, I’m a peacock! Look! How pretty I am! My colorful feathers.

大家好！我是孔雀。看！我多漂亮啊！我五彩缤纷的羽毛。

My beautiful cockscomb. Who have these just like mine? Oh! What are you saying?

美丽的冠子。你们谁有呢？哦！你说什么？

Have I got any friends? Oh, no, no. I don’t need any friends. My only friend is me.

我有没有朋友？哦，不、不。我不需要任何朋友。我自己就是我的朋友。

狐狸（上）：Hello! My beautiful peacock. I’m looking for you everywhere.

你好！美丽的孔雀。我正到处找你呢。

孔雀：Looking for me?

找我？

狐狸：Oh, yes! We are holding a forest concert. Would you like to join us?

哦，是的！我们要举行一个森林音乐会。你愿意一起参加吗？

孔雀：Oh, no, no. I never play with any ugly ones. Look! Your ears are so long.

哦，不，不。我从不和丑陋的人一起玩。看！你的耳朵这么长。

They are terrible. And all of your friends are ugly too. Do you think so?（对观众）

他们太可怕了。并且你所有的朋友都和你一样丑陋。你们说呢？

狐狸：My beautiful peacock. You are too proud. That’s bad for you. Although we are not beautiful, we’ll help you when necessary. Please be our friend. And please take part in our concert

美丽的孔雀， 你太骄傲了。这对你不好。虽然我们并不漂亮，但我们会帮助你, 在你困难的时候，请成为我们的朋友吧！并请参加我们的音乐剧吧！

We all like your dances.

我们都喜欢你跳舞。

孔雀：Oh, no, no. I never dance for any ugly ones. And I’ll never need your help.

哦，不，不，我从不为丑陋的人跳舞。并且我不需要你们的帮助。

狐狸：My beautiful peacock…

美丽的孔雀……

孔雀：（打断狐狸的话）Don’t say any more. You ugly fox.

你别说了，丑陋的狐狸。

狐狸：Oh, I have to leave now. You are too proud.

哦，我必须走了。你太骄傲了。

孔雀：（独白）Oh, what a lovely day. The sun is shining brightly. Why not have a good sleep under this tall tree? 啊，阳光多好啊。让我在这树下美美的睡上一觉。

大灰狼：（自言自语）I’m so hungry. I’m so hungry. Those elves are staying together.

我太饿了。我太饿了。那些小精灵们团结得那么紧。

I hear they are having a forest concert today. I have no chance to catch them.

我听说他们又搞什么森林音乐会。我连抓住他们的机会都没有。

I’m so hungry. Oh, there’s a big hole in the tree. What’s in it? Is there anything for me?

我太饿了。哦，那棵树里有一个大洞。那里面有什么呢？有什么可吃的呢？

Oh, what’s that? A beautiful peacock. I think I won’t be hungry any longer.

哦，那是什么？一只美丽的孔雀。我想我不会再饿肚子了。

Look! The two fat arms. They are delicious.

看！那两只结实的胳膊。他们定是美味的。

孔雀：（惊吓的）Oh! My god. Who’s that? What are you doing for?

哦！上帝啊！那是什么？你想干什么？

大灰狼：Aha! I’m your good friend. Don’t be afraid.

啊哈！我是你的好朋友。别害怕。

孔雀：I haven’t got any friends.

我从来没有朋友。

大灰狼：That’s OK! Otherwise I’ll have no such a chance.

这就对了！否则的话我怎么会有这样的机会呢？

孔雀：You, you are a wolf. You evil one.

你，你是一只大灰狼。你想害我。

大灰狼：You are right. I’m so hungry. And you are my good dinner.

你说对了。我太饿了。你是我丰盛的午餐。

孔雀：Help! Help!...

救命啊！救命啊！……

英语双人短剧篇六：英语短剧

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene I

(Peggy and Lucy are shopping. They buy a lot of stuff. Suddenly, they see a handsome man.)

Lucy: Oh my god ! What a treasure.

Peggy: He is so handsome, just like my charming prince in dreams.

Lucy: Look! He has beautiful eyes and he looks so gentle and charming. Peggy: He’s a present that God gave me.

Peggy Lucy: I love him so much; I want to be his girlfriend!

Peggy: Hay! (Looks angry). Lucy, he belongs to me, OK?

Lucy: Stupid woman! I saw him first. He’s mine.

Peggy: No, no, no, ugly woman. I saw him much earlier than you. Lucy: What? I’m more beautiful than you.

Peggy: But I’m taller. Look at you, little short hobbit.

Lucy: What? Little short hobbit? You are a small-eyed girl.

Peggy: You’re so mean.

Lucy: You too. (Peggy and Lucy get angry)

Peggy: Hmm! I hate you.

Lucy: Me too!

(Now the war of these two women begins)

Scene II

(Peggy and Lucy surround the man, and they are pulling and dragging the man. )

Peggy: Please be my boyfriend, I’m more beautiful than Lucy. I’ll be a good girlfriend.

Andy: Sure. You’re very beautiful. You’re like a super model. To be your boyfriend is my honor. (Lucy drags the man to her side.)

Lucy: I really love you very much. I can give you a happy life.

Andy: You’re very beautiful, too! Especially your big eyes! They’re very charming!

Andy: What should I do? I want to choose Peggy, but I also want to choose Lucy.

Peggy: Let’s go to the movies on Sunday.

Andy: Ok!

Lucy: Let’s go to the movies tomorrow, OK?

Andy: Sure!

Andy: Oh~ I’m so happy! There’re two beautiful girls are quarreling over me. Look at them; they have long legs, big chest and charming eyes. I’m so lucky!

Scene III

(Lucy, Peggy, and Bonnie meet unexpectedly. Lucy and Peggy stare at each other.)

Lucy: Bonnie, listen to me.

Peggy: No! Don’t listen to her. Listen to me.

Lucy: Get away. Bonnie is my good friend!

Peggy: You liar. She’s my good friend!

Bonnie: Stop quarreling! Who can tell me what happened? Both of you are good friends, aren’t you?

Peggy Lucy: No!

Bonnie: What happened between you?

Peggy: Bonnie, I hate Lucy. She stole my boyfriend.

Lucy: Nonsense. He’s my lover.

Bonnie: Stop it! It’s no use quarreling about it. You should have a talk. Don’t hurt your friendship over a guy. Friendship is precious. (Peggy Lucy leave)

Scene IV

(In front of the movie theater. Peggy is waiting for Andy. Lucy is also waiting for Andy. They see each other.)

Peggy Lucy: You„„.

Lucy: Why are you here?

Peggy: I want to ask you the same question.

(At this time, Andy arrives; both Lucy and Peggy look at each other in confusion)

Andy: Good afternoon, ladies!

Peggy Lucy: She„., you„„

Andy: Any questions? It’s more fun that we can all go to the movies together. (Andy looks at the watch). The movie will start soon. Let’s go!

Scoundrel: Don’t move! Give me your money.

Peggy Lucy: Help, help!

Scoundrel: Be quiet! I won’t kill you if you give me your money. Hurry! Andy: Calm down, sir. I’ll give you all the money I have. Don’t kill me. If you want to kill somebody, please kill them.

Lucy: Us? Are you crazy?

Peggy: We’re just girls!

Lucy: I can’t believe you are such a coward! How can you do this? Peggy: You make me sad. Lucy, let’s go!

(They leave angry.)

Scoundrel: What a coward you are! Killing you is waste of my strength. Chicken! (Scoundrel left but soon he come back)

Scoundrel: Wait!

Andy: Why did you turn back?

Scoundrel: I forgot to take my money. (Takes Andy’s money)

Scene V

Peggy: I’m so sorry. Lucy, can you forgive me? Please„.

Lucy: Oh~ my dear friend! I’m feeling so sorry, too.

Peggy: So„.we’re still good friends, right?

Lucy: Right! Then, let’s go eat. It’s my treat!

Peggy: Wow~ it’s a good idea! Let’s go.

(Allen shows up.)

Allen: Hi, baby!

(Peggy Lucy see Allen at the same time, they got excited and run to Allen.)

Peggy Lucy: Please be my boyfriend.

(Peggy Lucy stare at each other.)

Lucy: Let go of your hands.

Peggy: He is mine!

Lucy: You already have a boyfriend, so he’s mine.

Peggy: Why do you always like to steal my boyfriend?

Lucy: You do, too.

Peggy: He’s mine!

Lucy: He’s mine!

Peggy: He’s mine!

Lucy: He’s mine!

Allen: Shut up! I don’t like girls!

Lucy: What?

Peggy: You’re lying. I can’t believe it.

Allen: Actually„„.

(Andy appears.)

Allen: Oh, honey!

Andy: Oh, baby! I’m sorry that I’m late!

Allen: Little bad fellow. Don’t be late next time.

Lucy: Andy?

Andy: Lucy, Peggy, Why are you here?

Peggy: I„„ (Looks at Allen and Lucy.)

英语双人短剧篇七：英语短剧

Posts Tagged 搞笑剧本《正义必胜》英语话剧剧本十二 4 Posted by admin in 英语剧本 Justice Is The Winner(正义必胜)by Cecilia Liu 劉怡芬5人短剧。搞笑的匪徒,搞笑的绑架案，不错的剧本。人物Bunny Cheng: Bunny ChenEliza Lin: DaughterCeline Tu: Reporter et AsideSano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓)Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓)——————————————————————————–SCENE IA mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing. And her daughter is in the school now.Mom: Hello~Caller: (A boy is crying.) Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom.Mom: Are you crazy? I don’t have a son!!! Don’t try to cheat me. Stupid guy!The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ringing again…Mom: Hello~Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now?Mom: (I recognize the voice.) You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is it fun? Don’t do such a boring thing, O.K.? I won’t believe you.Caller: Really? Listen to this.(A girl is crying on the phone, ”mom, help me~ help me~)Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop. Do you understand? (Hang up the phone more angrier.)But the voice sounds like her daughter’s and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there…Mom: Eliza~Eliza: Mom~ why you are here? Are you missing me? Do you come here to pick me up?Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school? Let’s go home. I want to tell you something on the way home.Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to be careful from now on.SCENE IIBecause the mother didn’t believe the two gangsters really kidnapped her kid, the gangsters were furious. So they decided to kidnap her daughter this time.The gangsters have found the school her daughter studies in, and observed for many days. Today is the day they plan to kidnap the child.The big gangster always focuses on what he’s doing but the small gangster is usually absent-minded.Big gangster: Hey! Concentrate!! (The big gangster hit the small gangster’s head)Small gangster: Ouch! O.K. O.K.At this moment, the girl appears.Small gangster: (Check the picture.) Hey!! Buddy!! Look! Is that her?Big gangster: Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s hunting time.Small gangster: I’m so excited!! Oh~ what a beautiful girl. Just like a fairy. My sweetheart… Buddy do you know? I feel that I get butterflies in my stomach!Big gangster: (Hitting the small gangster’s head again.) Hey! Wake up!! Stop day-d

reaming. Let’s make a move!Small gangster: Oh~ my baby~ I’m coming!!Big gangster: Hey!! Lady!! Can you do me a favor?Eliza: Sure! What can I do for you?Small gangster: (Murmuring) This beautiful lady has a beautiful heart.Big gangster: Sorry. Ignore what he said.Eliza: Never mind!Big gangster: Thanks! I want to go to Tunghai University. Do you know how can I get there?Eliza: Oh… you should go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.Big gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, turn right and we will see a supermarket at the end of the street. And…Eliza: No! No! No! Go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.Small gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, then turn left and go straight to the end of the street, then we can see the university.Eliza: Oh, my! No! Wrong again! You two are really a stupid guy.Big gangster: It’s too complex. I can’t remember all the directions. I’m a foreigner. And I have an important presentation there. Could you go with us, guide us there? Please~Eliza was confused. But she is a kind person and she likes to help people.Eliza: Umm… let me think… okay!! Let’s go!Small gangster: How kind of you!! My little girl.Big gangster: Sorry. Just ignore him. Thank for your help.Eliza goes with the gangsters.In the gangsters’ car, the small gangster suddenly shows a sharp knife. And shouts, “Don’t move!” Eliza is shocked and starts screaming.Eliza: What are you doing?Small gangster: I’m kidnapping you!Eliza: Oh~ I am so scared.Small gangster: (Talk to the big gangster.) Did you hear that, she is scared?Big gangster: Ya~ we are professional.Eliza: Not funny! I’m hungry. I want to go home! I want to go home!Small gangster: Shut up. Don’t be so noisy!Eliza keeps crying.Small gangster: You! Get out of the car!Big gangster: (Hit the small gangster angrily!) Idiot! I have a stupid partner. (Disappointed)Eliza: I agree! (Nod head.)Big gangster: Don’t cry baby, I give you a lollipop.Eliza: Thank you. How kind of you.SCENE IIIMother is preparing dinner.Mom: Eliza! Eliza! Time for dinner! I’m hungry! Hurry up!No one answers her. And she realizes there is something wrong.Mom: Eliza, where are you? Don’t play hide and seek with me! It’s not funny. I’m hungry.As the mother is finding her daughter, the phone rings.Mom:

Hello~ this is Anderson. I’m busy finding my daughter. Don’t bother me!Big gangster: Are you finding your daughter? Ha! Ha! Ha… she is right here.Mom: Good job! Tell her it’s time for dinner. I’m hungry!Big gangster: Hey! You are clueless. I have already kidnapped your daughter, Eliza Anderson!Mom: Hey! Buddy! Don’t trick me!Big gangster: Sure! Listen! (The gangster takes the phone to Eliza.)Eliza: Hello! Mom! I’m here! They are so kind. They gave me a lollipop.The gangster takes the phone away.Big gangster: Do you believe me now? If you want your daughter to come back for dinner. You have to prepare the ransom of NT $ 20,000,000.Mom: Too expensive! 20% off.Big gangster: Are you buying clothes?Mom: Bargain is my hobby.Big gangster: No negotiation you should bring the ransom to Tunghai Lake at 8:00 pm. And remember don’t call the cop. Or you will find your daughter in the lake.Mom: O.K. See you then!At Tunghai Lake. The gangsters and Eliza are baking fish from the lake because they are hungry. At this time, the mother is coming.Mom: Ha! (Mom shouts.)The gangsters and Eliza are shocked. And the small gangster’s fish is falling down on the floor.Small gangster: Oh,! My fish! Who’s there?Mom: It’s me, Bunny Anderson, Eliza’s mother, Anderson’s wife. Where is my daughter? Release my daughter.Eliza: Hi! Mom, I’m here. Do you want to come here to eat fish?Big gangster: Where is the ransom?Mom: Release my daughter first!Big gangster: Give me the ransom first!Mom: No way!And the battle begins.Mom: Justice is always the winner.Eliza: Oh~ Yeah! Mom, you win!Celine: Ha! I got it! I got it! A new…… headline.Celine: I am at Tunghai Lake. Earlier, there was a violent fighting. A watermelon knife V.S. A B.B.Q. fork. According to the witnesses, a mother fought with the gangsters for her daughter. And the mother won. Now, let’s interview the persons involved.Celine: Do you feel regretful? Do you feel sorry to this society?Small gangster: I……Celine: I…… I know. You are very sorry and regretful. How about you? (Turn to the big gangster.)Big gangster: None of your business. (Run to the wall.) Leave me alone.Eliza: Me! Me!Celine: What do you want to say?Eliza: Uh…My mom is so cool. She came to save me!Mom: My turn. My turn.Celine: O.K. O.K. What do you want to say after winning the fight?Mom: Well……Celine: Well, you are very happy and proud of yourself to be the winner in the battle.Mom: Yes. And the gangst

ers…Celine: Oh, the gangsters are very stupid and silly.Mom: Right. And they…Celine: They want to trick you, but…Mom: But… enough. I’m hungry. I want to go home with my daughter.Celine: Next time, if you receive a phone call from a scam artist, here are the things you can do to avoid being tricked. First, stay clam and be skeptical about it. The caller hopes to fool you with a moving story, causing you to forget your good judgment. A little doubt can protect you. Second, verify the story. Call the organization to make sure the story is true. Third, report it to the police. And don’t deal with the villains on your own. One phone call will often expose a trap quickly. However, to tell the truth, the mother is really very brave. She is my idol. I want to keep her sign. This is reporter Celine reporting from Tunghia Lake for TVAS.

英语双人短剧篇八：英语短剧

荆轲刺秦王

（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he

failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：

Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众）

I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?

阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~ （作杀状）

太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?

阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.

太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?

阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）

荆轲Are you Li mochou?

李莫愁Yes.

荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world. 李莫愁Are you challenging me?

荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意

李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地

荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

荆轲: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）

李莫愁：Momma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right.

荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?

荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?

太子丹晕倒

荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?

荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：

To be or not to be, that's a question.

阿三：Hero，we need your help.

荆柯：I am busy now!

太子丹：You can get a lot of money.

荆柯：I am very busy now!

阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?

荆柯：I am very very busy now!

阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.

荆柯(诚恳状) ok. Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.

太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!

Action Ш

（《大话西游》主题曲响起）

荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.

阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.

荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends

太子丹：I will miss you, baby.

（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起）

荆珂：Darling, I love you.

妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）

荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)

妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.

荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.

妻子:"I promise."

荆轲:"Never let go. “

妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, jingke. I'll never let go."

（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）

妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，

荆珂上船，渐渐远去

旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.

英语双人短剧篇九：英语短剧剧本

Little Red Riding Hood 小红帽

第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家

Mum： (妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌紫的水果放在篮子里）

Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌，欢快地跑进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doing?

Mum： （一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma.

Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok!

Mum： （亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good. Be careful.

Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy.

Mum： Bye-bye. Darling.

第二场：在路上

(一阵轻快的音乐远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁)

Little Red Riding Hood： Wow！Flowers, how beautiful! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers.

Wolf：（随着一阵低沉的音乐，Wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望) Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼)

Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真地回答)To Grandma’s．Grandma is ill.

Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eat Grandma. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks.

Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鸭子随着音乐翩翩起舞)

Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后）

Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks，how are you?

Six Ducks：We’ re fine．Thank you． Where are you going?

Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma’s．Oh, I must go, bye.

Six Ducks：Goodbye．

第三场：Grandma家

Grandma： （喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床边，喘了几口，打几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。）

Wolf：（从树后出来，边走边说）I am very hungry now. (做找寻的样子)Where is Grandma’ s house? (高兴地对观众说)Aha , it’s here.(敲门)Bang, Bang, Bang．

Grandma： Who is it？

Wolf：（装出Little Red Riding Hood的声音，一边得意地摇动尾巴，一边说）It’s me. Little Red Riding Hood.

Grandma： (边说边起床) Come in, come in.

Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床边) Grandma , I’ll eat you.

Grandma： （惊慌失措地抓紧衣服，瞪着眼睛，边叫迫从床上滚到地上）

灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。

Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翘起大拇指）Yummy！I’ll sleep.

Little Red Riding Hood：(高兴地敲门)Grandma．Grandma．

Wolf：(装扮成Grandma的声音) Who is it？

Little Red Riding Hood：It’s me。Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise!

Wolf：Come in， Come in.

Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳着进来，把篮子放在桌紫，走到床前一看，跳回几步)Oh! What are big ears!

Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice.

Little Red Riding Hood：Wow! What a big eyes!

Wolf：I can see you pretty face.

Little Red Riding Hood：Oh! What a big hand.

Wolf：I can hug you.

Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，边摸边说）Look! What a big hands?

Wolf：(从床上跳起来说)I can eat you!

Little Red Riding Hood：(拼命地跑)Oh！No! No!

Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃状，拍拍肚子说）It’s delicious. I still sleep. I like sleeping.

Hunter： (一边拿着枪，一边做寻找状出场)Where’s the wolf? Look! A door．(推门)The wolf is sleeping.

Wolf：(发出呼呼的响声)

Hunter： (端起枪想打，又放下)What a big stomach! (摸摸Wolf的肚

子)Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I must be hurry．(从桌紫拿起剪刀，举起) Look! Scissors. (做剪Wolf的肚子)Cut, cut, cut.

Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma：Thank you．

Hunter： Grandma ,give me some needles and

thread． Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones．

Grandma： (从桌紫拿来针线)

Little Red Riding Hood：(搬来几个石头)One, two, three.

英语双人短剧篇十：四人英语短剧

《叶花K西》

人物介绍：西门吹雪（Ｘ），叶孤城（Ｙ），Ｋing(K).花满楼（Ｈ）

道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。 第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠

旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .

Birds are dancing in the cold .

A man is walking along the street ,step by step .

Wind is coming in silence.

Another mysterious man approaches .

Y与X相遇．

X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !

Y:Haha, Never mind baybay.

X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?

Y:ha ha ,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous-------YeGucheng. Who are you?

X:I am ximenchuixue.

Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?

X:Yes,what is wrong?

Y:I heard that you are the best MartialArts?

X:Great, you know me !

Y抱腿：Please, please„„ Don’t kill me! Let me you go! X:No, I must kill you !

Y:I don'''t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!

X:No way! Because we are fighting now!you know? Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don''''''''''''''''t force me!

X:Pardon!

(Y拿出一袋牛奶)

X抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! I likedrinking it. How do you know that?

Y:please drink it!

X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha

Y:Do you still want to kill me?

X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.

Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! I hope you will not forget what you said!?

X:I’m sure Iwon’t!

Y:I must give you a lesson!If I don''''''''''''''''t beat your this time, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!

X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !

Y大笑：HaHa„„

X可怜状: help! help! Whereisthewashroom?

Y:What ?

X:Toliet?

Y:What ?

X:The “WC”?

Y:Oh,I see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad! X:Thanks,byebye.

Y掏出纸屑吹:Thisisgenuirnesnow!

H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation! Y:Whoareyou?

H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue?

Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC” now,ha„„ H惊讶:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!

Y:Youareright!

H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus? Y:Yes,It’sverygood.

H:Ok, followme, Let’sgotoseemyking!

Y:Ok,Let’s go!

第二幕：无间道

H:Mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! （指Y） thisisyegucheng.

K:sitdownplese, yegucheng.

H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids?

Y: Yes,Ido.

K: Huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!（音乐停） X唱着上:Onlyyou„„(看到戒子) thisringshouldbemine! K:Butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?

Y急切: king! dearking!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi(维语再见) K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean? ItisnotEnglish, isn’t it ? Y:How clever„„

X冷酷:yegucheng! comehere!Iwanttotellyousomething! Y抱X的腿:oldbrother ! Forgiveme!

X:Forgiveme? Why?

Y: Oncetherewasachangebeforeme,Ilostit. Ifthegodgivemeantherchance, I’lltellyou“I love you”,Iftheremustbea limited period,Ihopeitisthousandyear!

X:Youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s“WC”!

Y:Ilikegoinglady’s WC .I„„I„„I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)

X: m-i-l-k? haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)

K: ayixidailu?What’sthemeaning? whyIalsocan’tunderstandyou?

X:Youarestupid! Itmeans“I love you”.

K:Don’t saythat“you love me”. I’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!

X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You---kill----me?come, come„(Ｘ上去抓住K)

K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!

X:Howcanyoukillme? haha„„

Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)

K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I’llgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyou

haveavacation.

Y:That’s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher.

K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! Hahaha„„

Y:Hahaha-----

H:Where’ssomewhere?

K:What?

Y:Doyouwanttogolady’s“WC”?

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