搞笑英文面试剧本五到六分钟

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搞笑英文面试剧本五到六分钟篇一：英语搞笑面试剧本

剧本

面试官：L 应聘者一：Z 应聘者二：T

出场 室内

L:（上来擦桌子，摆放文件，然后回头）Today is the first day of Foxconn Group´s job interview. I´m responsible for the recruitment 。I´m Li. We recruit all kinds of elite from nationwide . Swift horse is very often but bole is hard to find。I´m just the bole . It is well known,Our company´s benefits occupy a certain height in the world, Foxconn second, who would dare to say the first?

Welcome to the job fair today. Let's start the interview with some questions. Now please make a simple introduce about yourself.

Z:Good morning. It is really my honor to have the opportunity for an interview. I hope I can make a good performance today and I am confident that I can succeed. My name is Wang Ye. My father is “Li Gang”. Li,we have known each other ,right? Last night you and I had our dinner together and I wonder if you have lost something. I believe that this book must belong to you. (Z拿出一本书，书中夹着几张100元钱，施接过书，把钱收起来，咳嗽两声，假装正经继续面

试。) I have just graduated from XX University with good aility. And also, I have a powerful family background. I think it will be helpful to both of us if I can entre this company. That’s all, and I believe it is enough. Thank you.

L: I am very optimistic about you.

T:I am almost a saint, I have no shortcoming. It does not matter where I come from or where I will go. Never expcet me to question, I am not a good questioner. you do not need to keep my words in your mind, because what I say is trivial. If beauty is a sin, I have committed heinous crimes; if there is wrong with a type, I have made the same mistake again and again; if wise must be punished, I will be hacked in pieces; if modesty is subjected to be torture, how could I ever escaped in succeed?

L: I can felt your modesty .

L: What is your ideal? Z

Z: Don,t talk about ideal with me , I´m giving up.

L: Do you have an ideal?T

T: Never try to spy out my thought, it is an extremely dangerous thing. In such a reality world, I am not sure it is right or not to talk about the dreams. But anyway, everyone should have a dream, in case it comes true, right? I once had many dreams in my life, big or small, but now, I just want to get the offer of this joy. L: Ideal is very plentiful, reality is very skinny. 4 years of age I dreams of being the kindergarten teacher, because the teacher unlimited to eat noodles, also can eat while chatting. I can only eat a bowl, can not eat too slow, can not speak, nor can spill soup on the table or someone else's pants. 10 years old my ambition was to be the daughter of an English teacher, so she would not call me up and recite every day, nor will pulling my ears I have stuttered back. But then I saw her daughter who came back from the United States , Her ears is surprisingly large. 14 years old my ideal is to have a high nose, I often do my homework near a lamp, then squinted to see my silhouette reflected on the wall , I´m very sad to find the silhouette of my face looks like a monkeys, no wonder no one from small to big said I look good.......

Z and T: Stop!!!

L: OH. I,m sorry. It is too sad to recall the past. let's back to the topic. Z. Why shoud I choose you from so many candidates ?

Z:Just as i

said, I have a powerful family background. My entering your company will bring a lot of benefit to both the company and me. This is a Win-Win situation.

L:Talk about your understanding of gender.

Z: I understand your company’s plan, but sex is not the key to elect

personnel, it also based on the individual level. I have excellent performance in all aspects. Some boys do not better than me.I can play the advantages of girls.And I am so beautiful~~

L: You want to apply for what position.

Z: Marketing.

L:Why.

Z:I have a huge drinking capacity. I will not drunk even after a thousand

cups of wine. This is a greatest advantage in marketing.

L: T. Tell me What are your greatest strengths?

T: My biggest advantage is that I have no shortcoming, Everybody who knows me all suppose that. And I think I am quite modest, really.

L:Why did you come to apply for our company

T:Do not ask me so much why, it makes you look like very stupid. Nevertheless, everyone deserves a joy, me too, Since I do not have a joy yet. I have to earn my live, also, I have no a adopted father to depend on like others.

L: What do you think of the decision still difficult to do?

T: If your mother and your girlfriend are drowning at the same time, which one you will save first. I think this question is the difficult one to answer. You know there can be too much truth in any relationships. L: Can you give me an example of team activities to prove your leadership ?

T: Of course. But I need a minute to think since that there is so much to say. And it is a little difficult to me to think of the old thing. But as an old saying, every mountain is unclimbable until someone climbs. I am a student cadres in my college, and I always organized my classmates to participate in the labor activities. So, they all hated me in bones.

L: Now let me test your intelligence. The first question ,Cut a cake three times then give to five people, so

how to cut ?

Z: How to cut?

T: Just like this, cut, cut, cut, ok.

L: You don't want to add? The second question . A total of 25 people in a class, the 15 is not female and the 16 is not male , so how many people in this class?

Z: Has anyone is neither male nor female?

T: Are you sure to question me this stupid question? It is a huge insult to me. Twenty-five, by the way, never ask me such question again, thank you.

L: OK. About this interview, we decide to hire both of you. Z, you have the background and strength, you are very suitable for sale. T, You're unique, You can go to planning department exert your talent. About the distribution of the work, do you have any questions? If not , tomorrow can be reported to the company. 这时L的手机响了起来

L:What? Fang Zou zi, Anti-Counterfeit? Now I,m going back to the company clean up the mess? Well, so be it.

Z: What happend?

L: The company is out of question, I Gotta GO.

T and Z: What about us?

L:You don't have to work in the company.

T: Previously said that?

L: All invalid.

搞笑英文面试剧本五到六分钟篇二：英文短剧《面试》剧本

英文短剧《面试》

施：月光电源经理

苗：月光电源人事主管

石，王，刘：接受面试大学生。其中石很优秀，王是富二代，刘女生 施：HI,ladies and gentlemen.I am the manager of the MOONGROW

company.Today I am glad to introduce our company to you.

Moongrow Power Supply Co., Ltd. is a National high-tech enterprise specialized in research, development, marketing and sales of renewable energy products especially for solar and wind power. As a leading specialist in inverters technology and material, MOONGROW is committed to research, development, manufacturing, and marketing of innovative and superb renewable energy products that meet and surpass international standards and customer demands worldwide.

But There is a question.The products from some famous companies,such like:sungrow,sunteck and sunup,can only work in a sunny day,at night they are out of work.Our products not only work at daytime,but also can transform the moonlight into green energy.So you see our company has a great future.

Welcome to join us,thank you.

Let’s welcome the head of HR to tell you the details about the interview.

苗：Good morning,everyone.I’m the HR of the moongrow company.

Today,we will have an interview. Our company is seeking for talented person. As the staff of technology or marketing. After several examinations, three outstanding interviewees are here. But only one of them can win the opportunity to enter our company.

Now,please come in.

施：Good morning,first,introduce yourselves. Mr. Shi please.

石：Good morning,everyone. I’m very happy to be here.I’d like to

introduce myself.My name is Shi Rongliang. I’ll graduate from XX University in July next year. And,my major is Power Electronics and Powers Drives,which is one of the most famous majors in our university. In my way of thinking,education is an important aspect of my life.And I get first class scholarship and national scholarships every year. I appreciate that our professors put great emphasize on the academic teaching of the electric theory foundation during our four year course.

I have a good command of power conversion technology. Not only do my qualification make me a perfect candidate,my personality,strong will and indomitable spirit. I thingk I have the excellent ability of working independently or with a diverse work force as well. Apart from the above mentioned,my scholastic pursuit make me spare no effort to get down to everything.

With my pious enthusiasm and sincerity,I want to join you to work for your company. I believe that I can because I think I can.

施：And you Mr. Wang.

王：Good morning. It is really my honor to have the opportunity for an

interview. I hope I can make a good performance today and I am confident that I can succeed.

My name is Wang Ye. My father is “Li Gang”. And Mr. Shi,we have known each other right? Last night you and I had our dinner together and I wonder if you have lost something. I believe that this book must belong to you.

(王拿出一本书，书中夹着几张100元钱，施接过书，把钱收起来，咳嗽两声，假装正经继续面试。)

施：Ke ke… You know, what you are doing now is very harmful to our

company and also to yourself. So I hope this kind of behaviour would not happened again. Ok ,let’s go on.

王：Ok, I have just graduated from XX University with good aility. And

also, I have a powerful family background. I think it will be helpful to both of us if I can entre this company. That’s all, and I believe it is enough. Thank you.

施：What about you,Miss Liu.

刘：Good morning. It is a pleasur for me to be here in front of you to

present myself. My name is Liu Di. I am a candidate for the position

of electrical engineer.

My background and work experience are tailor-made for this position. I studied power system in XX University, and then I received my master’s degree from XX univercity.

As is known to us all, moongrow is a forward-looking company, I am award that your company is developping new energy, particularly in the electric energy. Thus you are going to need an aggressive engineer.

A position with your company would be a learning experience and a great opportunity. I look forward to becoming part of your company. Thank you.

苗：Now we will ask you some questions. First,what are your greatest

strengths and weakness? Mr. Shi please.

石：With my qualifications and experience, I feel I am hardworking,

responsible and diligent in any project I undertook. Your organization could enefit from my analytic and interpersonal skills. However I tend to drive myself too hard and I like to see a job done quickly, and I am critical if it isn’t. But I think I can conquer them in the future.

王：My strength is that I am confident and brave enough to do things that

others can’t achieve. Well my weakness is that,you know,I am not tall enough, not handsome enough. Otherwise I would be a perfect

rich second generation.(富二代)

刘：I feel that my strongest asset is my ability to stick to things to get

them done. And I am afraid that my weakness is I am a poor talker. I am not comfortable talking with people whom I have just met for the first time. That is not very good for business, so I have been studying public speaking.

施：Miss Liu, you know, this year our company does not plan to recruit

female students. Why do you come here?

刘：I understand your company’s plan, but sex is not the key to elect

personnel, it also based on the individual level. I have excellent performance in all aspects. Some boys do not better than me.(扭过头看看王，暗示说的就是他…) I can play the advantages of girls.

施：Then, how do you handle your failure?

刘：None of us was born perfect. I am sure I will be given a second

chance to correct my mistake.

苗：Mr. Wang, why do you think you are worth to us?

王：As I just said, I have a powerful family background. My entering your

company may bring a lot of benefit to both the company and me. This is a Win-Win situation.

苗：What kind of staff would you like to join in?

王：Marketing.

苗：And what makes you think you would be successful in this position?

搞笑英文面试剧本五到六分钟篇三：英文搞笑剧本

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校园搞笑小品剧本：英语话剧《赖皮孙子糊涂爷爷》

2009-03-16 19:08

演员: P: Pirate-Grandson. M: Mother.

F: Father. K: King -Grandpa.

旁白: There are 4 members in a family, Pirate, a 7-year-old naughty boy. His mummy is a beautiful white-collar worker. His dad, Andy Lau is a famous singer, and his dear grandpa, King is a kindly old man. Pirate loves his grandpa most, because King is very spoiling him. He hates his parents. Frankly speaking, he is afraid of them, Because they are very strict with him. .

正剧：(P,K出场)

P: Old King, Open the TV, I want to see Tom and Jerry. I love that mouse. Quick! No time! I can’t wait another second.

K: Oh dear! I nearly forget it. Don’t worry, I open it right now. (作开电视状) P: Ha Ha! It’s really funny! Tom is so good! (作高兴状)

Oh no! “The End!” Where is Tom? I hate the end! (摔电视机，作极度气愤状) Old King!? (对K吼)

K：Oh, what a pity dog! (作左顾右盼状) Your parents are not here ,and we can change another one ,our brave Pirate, just tell me. I’m sure your demand will be satisfied. (作充满自信状)

P：Really! OK! Now, let’s watch Caribbean Pirates!

K: Humm, No, it’s unfit for you„„ (作犹豫状)

P: I just like this film, Old King, you tell lies. You don’t keep your promise.（作气愤欲泣状）

K; Oh yes, I play it for you. (作为难状) But please be quite, I’m afraid your parents wound not like us doing these.

P: Don’t tell so much! I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I promise it to you. (作自豪自信状)

K：OK. (作舒心，安慰状)

P: Fight him, kill him. Throw these bad guys into the sea„„ (高声喊) K: Xu „„.. (作禁声状). Remember your promise, young adult man.

P: Oh? What promise? I have forgotten it. (作天经地义状)

K: Oh?! You are right（作理解状，因为Pirate一贯如此，出尔反尔）

P: Old King. I give you an honorable mission. (作自豪状) Be my horse, and I will ride on your back , let’s help these people in dangerous situation, just like a brave knight.(作勇敢状)

K: What! Ride on my back! Be your horse!!(作惊异状)

P: Yes, your hearing is very good, any question? (作若无其事状)

K: No, No, sound a good idea! Very good! You are a brave Pirate. Now come on my back. (作无奈状)

P: (作高兴状，作跃上马背状) Hei! Let’s go! Kill all those bad men. Quick! Run quick! ....... (意气风发状)

（M,F携手进场）:

P: Oh, my god! Mummy, Daddy! (A,D作慌忙状，挡在电视机前)

M: Dad, what are you doing!? Naughty Pirate, isn’t your trick!? (作气愤状)

P:（作阳痿状） Mummy, it’s not my fault. Old king let me massage his back. Hei Hei (作心虚状，以掩饰内心的恐惧)

M: I don’t believe it. (作严肃状) Dad, isn’t really that? (询问K)

K: Yes, of course, I can’t image a child only 5 year old, can massage so good. Oh„„. (释然状，因为圆了我的谎)

M: Really. I don’t believe the litter pirate can massage, who taught him. (作怀疑状) Dear, isn’t you ?

F: No, I haven’t, but I decide to enjoy his massage another day, Do you think so, dear?

M: Yes, really a good suggestion.

（P，D作惊恐状。A：发抖，D：挥汗)

（P挡着电视怕被M、F发现，K也为P作掩饰）

P: Mummy, Do you feel a little cold?

K: Yes, I can feel it. (边挥汗边说冷)

M: No, it’s summer. Really hot, do you catch cold?

P: No, No, just my feeling. (更加发抖，一不小心被B看到了电视)

M: Pirate, what’s behind you? (疑问状)

P: Oh, nothing, nothing! (作惊恐状)

M: Move away .little Pirate! (作气愤状)

P: Oh no! The storm will come. (捂脸作害怕状)

M: Caribbean Pirate! What’s a bad film! Little Pirate!? (气愤状)

P: Mummy, I surrender. (作投降状)

M: Daddy ,this film is unfit for him , it is full of killing，force and negative passion, and it will let him become bad !

K: I know that, but I meat to let him watch Tom and Jerry and he like it very much. Yes? Pirate? (想转移话题与Pirate站在同一战线)

P: Yes, a very clever mouse and a stupid cat. (作博学状)

M: Dad, don’t let him watch so much TV, it wastes a lot of time, and it is bad for his eyesight. He may become short-sighted. (诚恳状)

搞笑英文面试剧本五到六分钟篇四：面试剧本 英文版

1 Hello, you are all here for this interview, ha ha

234 yeah，and you？

1 me too, I saw the company on the Internet ,it is good, do you know, my job experiences are so rough, this time I have prepared for a long time, Let's fight together ah, friendship goes the first, work goes second,

2 well, ha ha. Why don't you tell us sth about your experience?

3\4 yeah,yeah tell sth

1 Well, anyway, there are ten minutes left. the first timeI went to Microsoft The interviewer asked me：How much is windows 7 in china?

I saied 5 yuan

Then he saied “Go out”

2 I also have a similar experience

34 really

2 yeah，I got the chance to google to interview.

He asked me Where did you get the news that we will interview? I Said Baidu。Then

He let me Go out too。

1234 hahahaha

A It's time tohave the interview. All the interviewees, please come in 1234 let’s go

A:Good morning,everyone.I’m the HR of the company. Today,we are seeking for a talented person to hold the post of Chemical engineer。

First each of you should have an self-introduction,and then I will ask you some questions, finally I will report to the company to decide who will stay. Are you ready?

1234:ok .

A:ok,one by one firstly 1

1 ladies and gentlemen, hello. My name is Zhang Dongmin, I've come to apply for the expensive unit advertisement for the post of an accountant. This is my personal resume. Please have a look.

Took the resume (ice)

2(自己针对自己的情况说，只是1有工作经验，234都没有)

3．。。。。

4．。。。。

To 1 Why did you leave your last job?

1 I feel I have reached the “glass ceiling ”in my current job. Well, I am hoping to get an offer of a better position. If opportunity knocks, I will take

TO 2 You don't have any work experience, how are you qualified for our job 2 I major in chemical engineering and technology, the knowledge I learned can make me be qualified for the job of your company

To 3 what are your greatest strengths and weakness?

3 My strength is that I am confident and brave enough to do things that

others can’t achieve. And I am afraid that my weakness is I am a poor talker. I am not comfortable talking with people whom I have just met for the first time. That is not very good for business, so I have been studying public speaking.

To 4 why do you think you are worth to us?

4 in fact I have a powerful family background. My entering your company

may bring a lot of benefit to both the company and me. This is a Win-Win situation.

To 2 what’s Your requirements of the salary

2 I don't have rigid requirements on wages. I believe that your company can deal with the problem reasonably. I Pay attention to the job opportunities, so if the conditions are fair, I will not care about too much.

To 4 How do you handle your failure

4 All of us are not born perfectly, I believe I will be given a second chance to correct my mistake

To 1 Why do you choose our company

1 I have seen reports of your company in the newspapers and magazines And your performance in the industry is obvious of all, and there are fair systems on the training and promotion of the staff

To 3 if it is hard to get along with colleagues, superiors, what would you do?

3 I will obey the leadership of the leaders, cooperate with colleagues andI will also find reasons from myself, and strive to be the best

To all In fact, we would like to hire a boy, Who can say some reasons to let me hire you,a girl。

Do you have any other questions。

the day after tomorrow 。you can check it on our company website 。Good luck！

四个人1234来参加某公司的面试，面试前在交谈.其中1有一定的工作经验，应聘过程较坎坷。234就均没有工作经验,3 缺点 poor talking

我是A，其他你们自己选，自我介绍要自己准备！！！还有最后一个为什么雇用女生的问题要自己准备，这个每个人说一两句就行。

搞笑英文面试剧本五到六分钟篇五：英文搞笑剧本

搞笑英文面试剧本五到六分钟篇六：搞笑英文多人剧本

Posts Tagged 搞笑剧本

《正义必胜》英语话剧剧本

5人短剧。搞笑的匪徒,搞笑的绑架案，不错的剧本。

人物

Bunny Cheng: Bunny Chen

Eliza Lin: Daughter

Celine Tu: Reporter et Aside

Sano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓)

Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓)

——————————————————————————–

SCENE I

A mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing. And her daughter is in the school now.

Mom: Hello~

Caller: (A boy is crying.) Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom.

Mom: Are you crazy? I don’t have a son!!! Don’t try to cheat me. Stupid guy! The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ringing again… Mom: Hello~

Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now?

Mom: (I recognize the voice.) You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is it fun? Don’t do such a boring thing, O.K.? I won’t believe you.

Caller: Really? Listen to this.(A girl is crying on the phone, ‖mom, help me~ help me~) Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop. Do you understand? (Hang up the phone more angrier.)

But the voice sounds like her daughter’s and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there…

Mom: Eliza~

Eliza: Mom~ why you are here? Are you missing me? Do you come here to pick me up?

Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school? Let’s go home. I want to tell you something on the way home.

Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to be careful from now on.

SCENE II

Because the mother didn’t believe the two gangsters really kidnapped her kid, the gangsters were furious. So they decided to kidnap her daughter this time.

The gangsters have found the school her daughter studies in, and observed for many days. Today is the day they plan to kidnap the child.

The big gangster always focuses on what he’s doing but the small gangster is usually absent-minded.

Big gangster: Hey! Concentrate!! (The big gangster hit the small gangster’s head) Small gangster: Ouch! O.K. O.K.

At this moment, the girl appears.

Small gangster: (Check the picture.) Hey!! Buddy!! Look! Is that her?

Big gangster: Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s hunting time.

Small gangster: I’m so excited!! Oh~ what a beautiful girl. Just like a fairy. My sweetheart… Buddy do you know? I feel that I get butterflies in my stomach!

Big gangster: (Hitting the small gangster’s head again.) Hey! Wake up!! Stop day-dreaming. Let’s make a move!

Small gangster: Oh~ my baby~ I’m coming!!

Big gangster: Hey!! Lady!! Can you do me a favor?

Eliza: Sure! What can I do for you?

Small gangster: (Murmuring) This beautiful lady has a beautiful heart.

Big gangster: Sorry. Ignore what he said.

Eliza: Never mind!

Big gangster: Thanks! I want to go to Tunghai University. Do you know how can I get there? Eliza: Oh… you should go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.

Big gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, turn right and we will see a supermarket at the end of the street. And…

Eliza: No! No! No! Go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.

Small gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, then turn left and go straight to the end of the street, then we can see the university.

Eliza: Oh, my! No! Wrong again! You two are really a stupid guy.

Big gangster: It’s too complex. I can’t remember all the directions. I’m a foreigner. And I have an important presentation there. Could you go with us, guide us there? Please~

Eliza was confused. But she is a kind person and she likes to help people.

Eliza: Umm… let me think… okay!! Let’s go!

Small gangster: How kind of you!! My little girl.

Big gangster: Sorry. Just ignore him. Thank for your help.

Eliza goes with the gangsters.

In the gangsters’ car, the small gangster suddenly shows a sharp knife. And shouts, ―Don’t move!‖ Eliza is shocked and starts screaming.

Eliza: What are you doing?

Small gangster: I’m kidnapping you!

Eliza: Oh~ I am so scared.

Small gangster: (Talk to the big gangster.) Did you hear that, she is scared?

Big gangster: Ya~ we are professional.

Eliza: Not funny! I’m hungry. I want to go home! I want to go home! Small gangster: Shut up. Don’t be so noisy!

Eliza keeps crying.

Small gangster: You! Get out of the car!

Big gangster: (Hit the small gangster angrily!) Idiot! I have a stupid partner. (Disappointed) Eliza: I agree! (Nod head.)

Big gangster: Don’t cry baby, I give you a lollipop.

Eliza: Thank you. How kind of you.

SCENE III

Mother is preparing dinner.

Mom: Eliza! Eliza! Time for dinner! I’m hungry! Hurry up!

No one answers her. And she realizes there is something wrong.

Mom: Eliza, where are you? Don’t play hide and seek w

ith me! It’s not funny. I’m hungry.

As the mother is finding her daughter, the phone rings.

Mom: Hello~ this is Anderson. I’m busy finding my daughter. Don’t bother me!

Big gangster: Are you finding your daughter? Ha! Ha! Ha… she is right here.

Mom: Good job! Tell her it’s time for dinner. I’m hungry!

Big gangster: Hey! You are clueless. I have already kidnapped your daughter, Eliza Anderson!

Mom: Hey! Buddy! Don’t trick me!

Big gangster: Sure! Listen! (The gangster takes the phone to Eliza.)

Eliza: Hello! Mom! I’m here! They are so kind. They gave me a lollipop. The gangster takes the phone away.

Big gangster: Do you believe me now? If you want your daughter to come back for dinner. You have to prepare the ransom of NT $ 20,000,000.

Mom: Too expensive! 20% off.

Big gangster: Are you buying clothes?

Mom: Bargain is my hobby.

Big gangster: No negotiation you should bring the ransom to Tunghai Lake at 8:00 pm. And remember don’t call the cop. Or you will find your daughter in the lake.

Mom: O.K. See you then!

At Tunghai Lake. The gangsters and Eliza are baking fish from the lake because they are hungry. At this time, the mother is coming.

Mom: Ha! (Mom shouts.)

The gangsters and Eliza are shocked. And the small gangster’s fish is falling down on the floor. Small gangster: Oh,! My fish! Who’s there?

Mom: It’s me, Bunny Anderson, Eliza’s mother, Anderson’s wife. Where is my daughter? Release my daughter.

Eliza: Hi! Mom, I’m here. Do you want to come here to eat fish?

Big gangster: Where is the ransom?

Mom: Release my daughter first!

Big gangster: Give me the ransom first!

Mom: No way!

And the battle begins.

Mom: Justice is always the winner.

Eliza: Oh~ Yeah! Mom, you win!

Celine: Ha! I got it! I got it! A new…… headline.

Celine: I am at Tunghai Lake. Earlier, there was a violent fighting. A watermelon knife V.S. A B.B.Q. fork. According to the witnesses, a mother fought with the gangsters for her daughter. And the mother won. Now, let’s interview the persons involved. Celine: Do you feel regretful? Do you feel sorry to this society?

Small gangster: I……

Celine: I…… I know. You are very sorry and regretful. How about you? (Turn to the big gangster.)

Big gangster: None of your business. (Run to the wall.) Leave me alone.

Eliza: Me! Me!

Celine: What do you want to say?

Eliza: Uh…My mom is so cool. She came to save me!

Mom: My turn. My turn.

Celine: O.K. O.K. What do you want to say after winning the fight?

Mom: Well……

Celine: Well, you are very happy and proud of yourself to be the winner in the battle. Mom: Yes. And the gangsters…

Celine: Oh, the gangsters are very stupid and silly.

Mom: Right. And they…

Celine: They want to trick you, but…

Mom: But… enough. I’m hungry. I want to go home with my daughter.

Celine: Next time, if you receive a phone call from a scam artist, here are the things you can do to avoid being tricked. First, stay clam and be skeptical about it. The caller hopes to fool you with a moving story, causing you to forget your good judgment. A little doubt can protect you. Second, verify the story. Call the organization to make sure the story is true. Third, report it to the police. And don’t deal with the villains on your own. One phone call will often expose a trap quickly. However, to tell the truth, the mother is really very brave. She is my idol. I want to keep her sign. This is reporter Celine reporting from Tunghia Lake for TVAS.

《出租车司机》英语话剧剧本

一天出租车司机Tommy遇到了很多奇怪的事情。烦人的女孩、孕妇、抢匪、不管事的警察，甚至还遇到了鬼。。。

Cast

Erin Chang: Robber

Debby Tsai: Police officer

Serrin Lee: Betel nut girl

Alec Zhao: Ghost student

Leo Lee: Taxi driver

Yi-ling Chen: Pregnant woman

—————————————————————————

Summary

This story talks about a poor taxi driver, Tommy, who meets many strange things in one day. First, he carries a Betel Nut Girl who wants to harass him. Second, a pregnant woman makes him feel nervous. Third, he carries a robber and meets a police officer who only manages traffic. At last, he carries a ghost student.

Tommy: Hello, my name is Tommy. Serving you is my honor. Where would you like to go?

Betel nut girl: Hi! Tommy. I’m going to Chong-Shan North Road, please.

Tommy: Ok, Chong-Shan North Road, no problem. Um? I remember there’s only a Chong-Shan East Road. Miss, are you sure you’re going to Chong-Shan North Road?

Betel nut girl: Um, I’m not sure. You just drive. Maybe I will remember where it is later.

Betel nut girl: How old are you? Are you married? You’re probably not married since you’re so young. Do you have a girlfriend?

Tommy: Um…miss, we are almost at Chong-Shan East Road. Do you want to have a look?

Betel nut girl: Oh! Not here. By the way, don’t you feel tired after driving all day long? Maybe I can help you relax.

Tommy: What…what do you want to do? Take your hands off me or I’ll scream! Betel nut girl: I did nothing! You just missed a nice chance. Stop the car, I want to get off. Tommy: (Relived) Great! The total is 155 dollars, Thank you.

Betel nut girl: Um! Take it!

Pregnant woman: Hey! Taxi!

Pregnant woman: Thanks. You are real a very kind man.

Tommy: Where are you going?

Pregnant woman: Hospital, please.

Tommy: You’re going to the prenatal checkup, right? It must be very tiring carrying a baby.

Pregnant woman: Yeah. It’s almost nine months.

Tommy: Woo. Congratulations.

Pregnant woman: Thank you.

Pregnant woman: (screaming)

Tommy: Are you ok?

Pregnant woman: (screaming)

Tommy: Is it time now? Are you going to deliver your baby now? I will drive as fast as I can. Stay down.

Pregnant woman: (screaming)

Tommy: We’re almost there.

搞笑英文面试剧本五到六分钟篇七：《应聘》 5人搞笑小品剧本(爆笑)

《应聘》 5人搞笑小品剧本（爆笑)

人物：2个考官，3个应聘者

（某公司招聘推销主管）

应聘者：龙民：一个农业养殖户，泰有才：一个没有社会背景的高才生，贞有权：一个官家子弟。

泰有才（背这手，度着步子，抬着头思索状）：岁月不留人，时间飞逝过，如今的市场，我也来竞争

贞有权（西装革履，大步走上）：根据本人的调查，在这个竞争日益激烈的市场，要求一份好的工作的确很难，同志们呐，为了生存我也来此应聘了。

第一个考官说：你们都是来应聘的，我们公司要的是推销方面的人才，要么有学历，要么有经验你们都是有学历的人。。

（突然从门外闯近来一个破烂衣服的人，跑得太急差点摔倒）

闯近来的农民边挠头边憨厚的说：大姐，对不起，俺迟到了

（副考官怒火直冒）：谁是你大姐`？本姑娘才一支花的年龄！！诶？怎么会突然冒出这么个人出`！ #策吧网

（龙民惊讶的看着考官说）：大姐？俺村没一支一支的花只有一大把一大把的`！（做夸张的，用抱的姿势来形容花多）

（副考官捏紧拳头强忍怒火的样子说）：好了。现在开始自我介绍，把你们的姓名，住址，年龄，民族，生日，性别，婚姻状况，学历。。。。报上来

（3个应聘者作惊讶状）（主考官笑笑说）：不用这么多，把你们的名字和学历经验报上来就行

贞有权：这才差不多，否则我还以为到派出所了`！

泰有才：我叫泰有才，泰国的泰，本人硕士毕业，经过学校文化的熏陶，经过社会的磨砺，经过人生的考验，我来到了贵公司应聘。我将把我的知识为公司推销，用我的文化来推销，把世界观，价值观，荣辱观带到公司的整体利益中来。。。。

副考官：停停停，罗嗦，下一个！（泰有才扶了扶眼镜，把头一昂退了退）

贞有权：我叫贞有权，贞德的贞。我毕业于那个什么H大，由于社会的竞争，恩，是吧，我来到了这个公司，然后呢，我想竟聘这个职位，我的话说完了，谢谢各位 copyright 策吧网

（中间考官动作自己加）

龙民：俺叫龙民，一条龙的龙（全场暴笑）俺别的没有，就是经验丰富，具体有啥经验请听下回分解。

贞有权：到底是龙民，名字都取得这么农民

主考官:好了好了好了，开始提问

副考官：请问如果有一个漂亮的姑娘出现在你面前你要怎么推销自己让她接受你？ 龙民：考官，能不能不要？俺已经有媳妇了，俺怕俺媳妇不让俺睡床。

（愤怒）副考官：假设，假设懂吗`？！！

龙民：假设，哦。

泰有才：哎，真为没知识的人感到悲哀。

泰有才：我会朗诵一首很有情调的词，让她臣服在我的文采之中

贞有权：我回叫所有交警在那位姑娘出现的地方大声喊：美丽的姑娘：贞有权，真爱你 龙民：俺虽然还是怕但是俺也要把握机会，俺会说：大妹子，俺会做饭，俺会洗衣，俺会种地，俺还会带娃，就是生不了娃，你帮俺生个胖娃，成不？ 本文来自策吧网

副考官：泰有才，你认为一首诗可以打动那位姑娘`？如果真那样，那每天都会有很多老太太爱上你，因为你每天都说了很多话。你现在就去朗诵一首诗看能不能让对面（卖臭干子）{这一句可以用长沙话}的大妈接受你

副考官：贞有权，你说你可以叫所有的交警帮你，那好，你先一个人去街上找个姑娘大声说你爱她，看她会不会说你神经病！

副考官：龙民，哎，就你那熊样还开口就想别人姑娘给你生个娃啊？你以为别人是你家养的猪啊` 想生就生

副考官：既然是推销自己就应该把对方当做堡垒攻下。

龙民：考官，现在是和平年代，哪来什么堡垒啊，要是说现在要打鬼子的堡垒俺村的壮丁都早就操起锄头上了，还轮得上俺吗？

副考官：哎，你这个人啊，这还是假设，假设！！诶，我就纳闷了，龙民你凭什么进的我们这应聘的？

龙民：俺有经验啊（拍拍胸脯，昂起头，作骄傲状） #策吧网

副考官：你有经验？那你怎么说得驴头不对马嘴的？

龙民（作委屈状）：哪有，俺真的有经验，你看啊，俺在家里卖过鸡，俺在村里卖过猪，俺在乡里卖过牛，又在城里卖过血，这不都是经验嘛,噢，对了当年我卖牛的时候还有个20出头的小伙子对我说大叔你怎么敢在大马路上卖牛啊，你真是牛A与牛C中间那个，我就纳闷那是什么意思，到后来被城管逮了城管对俺说了句你真牛B。俺到现在还纳闷，怎么俺买个牛咋就成牛ABC了？

（副考官低下头沉默了一会）然后抬起头说：俺觉得你可以回家再去卖血得了

龙民：考官，你说的不对，俺是在城里卖的血不是在家，俺家没那设备呢

副考官：哎`！（摇摇头）

主考官：那现在你们认真说说觉得该怎么推销自己才能让那姑娘接受自己呢？

龙民：俺觉得。。。

副考官：停，你不准说话，跟我蹲一边去（龙民可怜巴巴的走到台边）

贞有权：我觉得这问题有问题

副考官：废话，没问题它能叫问题吗？

泰有才：我觉得这个问题有很大的探讨价值，如果允许我给我的导师打个电话问问 考官们：你们。。。。

主考官：为什么你们就觉得这个问题就那么难呢？

龙民，泰有才，贞有权，：这问题不好{龙民从台边站了起来}

副考官恶狠狠的说：龙民谁叫你起来了，继续回去蹲好

龙民灰溜溜的蹲了下去，双手抱头

副考官：这问题怎么就不好了？

（龙民又站了起来并走到台前）龙民说：那考官你愿意把自己卖了吗？ 策吧网 副考官：谁叫你把自己卖了啊？

龙民说：推销自己不就等于卖了自己吗？考官你愿意把自己卖了吗？

（考官怒，另外2位应聘者大笑）

主考官:你觉得你现在不像是商品吗？生活在这个竞争激烈的环境中，有学历的太多，有背景的也多。有经验的更多，如果你不能把自己很好的推销出去你觉得会有公司接受你吗？刚考官只是打个比方，其实那女孩就是你正在寻找的工作，你不能让那姑娘接受你就等于没办法让你们寻找中的公司接受你，最终你们还是一无所有。希望你能够明白。其实你们进来我们公司应聘之前我们就对你们做过详细的调查。我们对你们已经有所了解，我们公司也正需

要像你们这样的人才，泰有才：学历深厚，能为公司在说服顾客方面做很大贡献。贞有权，遇事冷静，很会使用个人人际关系来达到推销目的。龙民，虽然你土了点知识少了点，我相信大部分老板还是喜欢和老实人做生意的，起码会很诚实。所以你们3个我们暂时录用，试用期2个月。

（龙民，泰有才，贞有权惊讶）

泰有才：对不起，考官，我觉得这样太不公平而且我相信我的学识，所以我希望4位考官能够再给我们一个机会，我们要让4位心服口服的录用我们

主考官：很好，贞有权呢？

贞有权：我从来不知道服输是怎么写的，我同意泰有才说的

（主考官笑笑）：恩（4位考官和前2位应聘这用怀疑的眼神看着龙民）

（龙民害怕的拱了拱手）：俺媳妇在俺出门时告诉俺，出来后要多和城里人学，俺告诉你们俺很听俺媳妇的话的，所以俺跟随前面2位城里大学生脚步走。

（所有人都笑了）

主考官：那么明天同一时刻我们再次考察3位。（掌声）

[落幕]

搞笑英文面试剧本五到六分钟篇八：最搞笑的英文滑稽表演剧本

The bank

Scene: The manager’s office in a bank

Characters: Miss D. Posit, the bank manager

Monica, Miss Posit’s secretary

Mr. Moore, a customer

A bank robber

Miss Posit is sitting at her desk. The robber comes in suddenly

Robber: Nobody move!

Posit: Of course, I am professional. When I am working, I never move around.

Robber: Read this.

Posit: “Three tomatoes, four eggs and two cans of Coca-Cola.” You can get out, turn right, there is a Wal-mart. You will get what you want there.

Robber: Oh, thanks.

(The robber turns back and goes out.)

Monica brings Mr. Moore in.

Monica: Mr. Moore.

Miss Posit: Good morning, Mr. Moore.

Mr. Moore: Good morning.

Miss Posit: Thank you, Monica.

Monica leaves the office.

Miss Posit: Do sit down, Mr. Moore.

Mr. Moore: Thank you.

He sits down.

Miss Posit: Now, Mr. Moore, the situation is like this. You account is overdrawn. ￥10,000 overdrawn.

Mr. Moore: Oh, good.

He takes out his credit cards and shows them to the manager.

Miss Posit: Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore, if you use your credit cards, you’ll be overdrawn more, Mr. Moore.

The robber comes back again with a bag of grocery at hand.

Robber: Nobody move!

Miss Posit: Can I help you?

Robber: That’s better. You-

Mr. Moore: Me?

Robber: Yes. Read this.

He gives Mr. Moore a note.

Mr. Moore: Oh. OK. Er… (Reading) “Three tomatoes, four eggs…”

Robber: No, no, no. The other side this time.

Mr. Moore: Oh, sorry. Er…(Reading) “Give me all your…honey, or I’ll kiss you.”

Robber: Not kiss-kill!

Mr. Moore: Oh. Er…Miss Posit. I think this is for you.

He gives the note to Miss Posit.

Miss Posit: (Reading) “Give me all your money, or I’ll kill you.” I see. Would you sit down for a moment?

Robber: Sit down?

Miss Posit: Yes. I am very busy at the moment. Please sit over there.

Robber: But-

Miss Posit: I’ll be with you in a moment.

The robber sits down.

Miss Posit: Now, Mr. Moore. You spend twice as much as you earn.

Mr. Moore: But I earn ￥5000 a month.

Robber: Excuse me!

Miss Posit: Yes!

Robber: I make ￥50,000 a month.

Miss Posit: Really? Would you like to sit here?

Robber: Thank you.

Miss Posit: Mr. Moore, would you sit over there for a moment.

The robber and Mr. Moore change places.

Miss Posit: Tell me… where do you keep this money?

Robber: Here, in this bag.

He puts a large bag full of money on the desk.

Miss Posit: Oh, oh, yes. Very nice. Um…would you like to open an account, Mr…?

Robber: Robber.

Miss Posit: Well, just excuse me one moment, Mr. Robber. I’ll ask Monica to get the necessary papers.

Robber: Certainly.

Miss Posit leaves the office.

Mr. Moore: Excuse me…

Robber: Yes?

Mr. Moore: You make ￥50,000 a month.

Robber: Yes.

Mr. Moore: How do you do it?

Robber: I rob banks.

Mr. Moore: Oh, I see. You rob banks and steal the money.

Robber: Yes.

Mr. Moore: How do you do it?

Robber: It’s easy. First, you need a mask.

Mr. Moore: Oh, nice, I have got one.

Robber: Well, then you take a gun-

Mr. Moore: I haven’t got a gun.

Robber: Oh…well, borrow mine.

Mr. Moore: Thank you very much.

Robber: You take a gun and you take a note.

Mr. Moore: Oh, yes, the note. That’s very good. I like that. (Reading) “Three tomatoes, four eggs-”

Robber: The other side!

Mr. Moore: Oh yes. (Reading) “Give me all you honey, or I’ll kiss you!”

Robber: “Money” and “kill”!

Mr. Moore: Oh, yes.

Robber: You wear a mask, take the note, go into the bank, and put the note on the bank manager’s desk.

Mr. Moore: Is that all?

Robber: Yes.

Mr. Moore: I see.

Monica comes back with papers.

Monica: Ah, yes. Now, Mr. Robber-

Mr. Moore: Give me all your honey…money, or I’ll kiss…kill you.

Monica: (Scared) Money, Mr. Moore? Certainly. Take this bag.

She gives Mr. Moore the robber’s bag.

Mr. Moore: Oh, thank you. That was easy.

Robber: Yes, but-

Monica: Mr. Moore, your account is still ￥10,000 overdrawn.

Mr. Moore: Oh, yes. Well…um…Here you are.

He gives here ￥10,000 from the robber’s bag.

Mr. Moore: ￥1000, ￥2000, ￥3000, ￥4000-

Robber: But…but…

Monica: Thank you. Mr. Moore.

Mr. Moore: Goodbye.

Mr. Moore leaves.

Miss Posit: Now, Mr. Robber, here is your account…

Robber: But…But…But…

Monica: Mr. Robber, Mr. VIP, Here is my telephone number, My name is Monica…

Robber: Just a minute! I think something’s gone wrong. Hey, you! Come back! Bring back my money-and my gun! Come back!

He runs after Mr. Moore.

Monica: Hey, don’t forget to call me.

搞笑英文面试剧本五到六分钟篇九：求职搞笑剧本

招聘

人物：老板、秘书、应聘者A、B、C、D

老：小王，小王

秘：来了，老板，您有什么吩咐？

老：把今天来应聘的几个人的简历递给我。

秘：请您过目

老板翻看简历

秘：老板，公司计划招几个人呐？

老板伸出一根手指

秘：只招一个？来的人可不少啊。

老：多个人多张嘴，地主家也没余粮嘛。。。。。。咳，我是说山不在高，有仙则灵，人不在多，够用就成。

秘：可是，老板，这次来的几个人，学历相同，能力相似，连兴趣爱好都没什么分别，不好选哪。

老：哦？那就看素质了，德才兼备，四有新人嘛。说到德，都这时候了，人也该来了，怎么不见动静？王秘书，这么办，咱们就录取第一个来的人。 秘：老板您意欲何为呀？

老：来得早，说明他重视这次应聘，知道重视，说明他稳重踏实，稳重的人都可靠，可靠的人很诚实，我们公司就需要诚实可靠的人。根据以上条件得出以下结论，我们公司录取来得最早的人。

秘：老板英明，您里边坐，我给你起湖沏壶茶慢慢等。

老板秘书下场，A打着手机从另一个方向上台

A：喂？是妈呀，我今天面试，，那个公司？歪道理。。。。。。是WILDLY,英文，你不懂。。。。。。啊？我怎么不去IBM？人家也得要我，再说我去这样的小公司都紧张，真要去了IBM,魂都吓飞了，好了，不说了，拜拜。 A收起手机，做深呼吸

A：世界如此美妙，我却如此胆小，这样不好。不好。

A摆出英勇就义的姿势，伸出颤抖的手准备开门，小心翼翼的从门缝中张望。 B上台，看到A，从后面叫他。

B：同志，你再干什么？

A下的关上门，回头一看是B

A：我。。。。。。我是来应聘的。

B：什么应聘？

A：歪道理公司的平面模特。

B：是他们直接通知你的吗？

A：昨天公司打电话来时我不在，我室友转告我的。

B：哎，可怜的孩子，在这物欲横流，纸醉金迷的社会里，你又一次被骗了。。哦，可怜的孩子。 掏出手帕擦眼睛。

A：啊？我被骗了？

B：可怜的孩子，让前辈我告诉你面试地点，我是那公司的，来来来，你看，出了门往北走，

上十八路公交车，杭州下来到火车，大约坐半小时，你就到九又四分之三站台了，出了站是华盛顿，那儿有一浦东机场，你坐左数第二十五架飞机，直飞日本北海道，出飞机场第一个公厕右边那间房就是了。

A：左拐。。。。。。火车。。。。。。飞机。。。。。记不住，您行行好带我去吧。

B：掏出十元塞给A，我有点事，你自己打车吧。

A：谢谢您，我不会忘记您的。

A感动得哭着跑了。

B：菜鸟，还敢出来混，平面模特？我看你是够平的。

B整理一下服装准备开门。

C上台。

C：呦，你是来应聘的吧。

B：是又怎么样?

C：哎呦，看看，看看，小身板多挺拔呀，站直了还有六十度弯，身子多高挑啊，站块砖上能够到我肩，小胳膊多纤细呀，才跟我腿差不多，这头发，如砂纸般柔顺，能比美草纸，再看人家这小模样，够十五个人看半个月的。你要是给异行做广告，那这片得多火呀。掏出一张纸 知道什么字吗？丑

B：你。。。。。。你身高。。。。。。

C：一米七六

B：你。。。。。。 你腰围。。。。。。

C：一尺八

B：你。。。。。。你长得。。。。。。

C：貌如桃花白三分，怎么着？咱俩一块进去面试，让公司挑，反正你都长成这样了，丢张脸也不可惜。

B：喘着粗气，把C打量一边，找不出可以反驳之处。 好，好，你等着，我这就去韩国，等我回来跟你单挑。

B气愤地冲下台，C冷笑一声，掏出镜子打扮一番，打算进去面试。 D：你是来面试的吧？

C：你也。。。。。。

D：我可没那么傻。

C：傻？

D：你不知道吧？我跟你说啊。 看看四周，把C拉到一边。 出大事啦。 C：啊？

D：歪道理公司都是群骗子，骗了不少人呐，你这两天肯定没看报纸吧？ C：看了，没有这事。

D：你看的什么报纸？

C：浙江晚报

D：登在南方周末上了，这帮骗子以招聘为借口，专找年轻漂亮像您这样的，招进公司，再神不知鬼不觉地买了，你可不知道，他们势力大着呢，警察都不敢轻易管，他们公司产品远销海内外，津巴布韦，马来西亚，莫桑比克均有销售，听说南极北极都开了分店，事情一曝光，南方周末好几个记者却给暗杀了，谁敢惹

他们啊？您说您这么天生丽质，歌坛，影坛，往那发展不好，别让人外国占了便宜。

C：原来是这样，多亏您告诉我。

D：不客气，防止人才外流嘛。

C走下台

D：傻孩子，让人卖了还得谢谢人家呢。

C：回头 谢谢你啊。

D刚打算开门，手机响了

手机：您好，IBM浙江分公司，我们从人才中心看到您的个人简历，您十分符合我公司对人才的需要，如果您有意加入我们，请到某某街、某某路、某某号，我们将在那里与您签订合同。

D：我？IBM？ 我加入IBM？神呐，你终于睁开双眼了。

D收起手机看到迎面走来的A

D：小王，干什么来啦？

A：应聘。

D：那家公司？

A：歪道理

D：是个好公司，刚起步，有前途，不像我们IBM，太壮大了，再有点进步谈何容易啊。

A：你加入IBM啦？恭喜恭喜

D：同喜同喜，你好好干吧，我看好你哟。

D得意洋洋的下台，A掏出手机

A：您好，IBM浙江分公司，哈哈哈。。。。。。

A打开门， 您好，我是来面试的。

搞笑英文面试剧本五到六分钟篇十：英文课堂面试小剧本

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